Dec 17, 2012 - 8:51 am
So today is 2 weeks since my lumpecomy surgery. I saw the surgeon last week for my 10 day follow up, and he says all is healing well. Well if he says so, but WHY am I still so sore? In fact at times it seems Im going backwards. At first the whole area was almost numb, but as the days go on, I have a really annoying soreness right around the nipple area. A friend mentioned, is the soreness near where they did the sentinel node dye injection, and I believe it is. Can be be delayed pain from that? Its really annoying. It seems to be most annoying when wearing no bra and it just sorta hangs down. But I hate wearing a bra, its not comfortable either, so Im damned if I do/dont kinda thing. I hate sleeping in a bra, but seems I have to. I did buy a front close cup sized sports bra, which is a bit less uncomfortable to sleep in that my regular one, but even so, I just never seem to be able to really relax. I cant sleep on my left side at all, which is how I usually sleep, and on my right side, I can only last a few mintues, as gravity seems to pull stuff down. Also, the incision where they took the nodes is still very sore, and when I lay my arm at my side, its also very uncomfortable, and I cant really relax.
Speaking of the node area incision, any idea why, even tho the incision is on the "body" side of my underarm, I have really annoying soreness on the underside of the "arm" side of that area, which is not really that near where the incision is.
Next area of struggle and annoynance is dealing with this intense sadness and depression I cant seem to shake. I have never dealt with this, in fact I have never been sick and until now have lead a pretty great life, so this is such new territory to me. When I was really freaking out before surgery, my obgyn, the surgeon, the RO and MO, all refused to give my anything for the intense anxiety, let alone depression. They all suggested I see a pysch. The RO office made an appointment for me, with a pychtrst on my insurance, and near my home. I went to the apppt, and was apalled to find a 100degree HOT office packed with about 20 people, YES 20, in a steamy office, waiting for a psychiatrist! I asked the recpt how long the wait was, and she said over an hour???? Have you EVER heard of this, especially for this kind of medical person? I was just appalled and left.
I went back and called all the docs involoved and begged for at least something short term to deal with the anxiety, and finally after begging the surgeons office nurse, who took pity on my, talked the the doc, and he was able to call in a SEVEN pill Rx for Xanax. It did help, take some of the edge off, at least before the dye injection and the surgery. But when I went back he said no more I need someone else to manage that.
I dont really have a PCP because Im never sick, and when I am I just go to the urgent care clinic, so that was not an option.
So last week I spent hours on the phone trying to find a psych that is on my plan, taking new patients, near ish my house and could see me soon. It took about 8 calls, to finally get one. This is just so NOT right. But anyway I have an appt for Wednesday, lets see how that goes.
Lastly today I am calling for an appt for a 2nd opinion for an oncologist. The ones (RO and MO) I have seen were ok, but associated with a hospital that is 45 mins from my house, and not that , that is the only concern, but to be closer seems to have some benefit. So I called my former across the street neighbor who I know used to be an oncology nurse. Well she was most helpful and is not the chief of nursing at Celebration Hospital, which also has a very well respected cancer center. She referred me to an onc that she says is very good, so I will see what he has to say.
OK, sorry to have rambled on so much, this is still all such horror and shock to me, to have to be dealing with this, but this board reminds me that I am not alone in this horrific journey.
Thanks for anyone who reads and responds