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Shaved it!

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

After a bucket of tears, hair is finally shaved. Thanks to my hubby and my daughter, they did an amazing job. There were lots of tears shed, a lots of hugs and kisses but I finally let them do it. The hair loss was just more devastating,like others said, it's was harder to see the clumps of hair falling.. I finally accepted that it was bound to happen anyways. I cannot say it was a relief because I think I still feel numb. Tomorrow is another day, I hope I will be stronger to face the mirror when I wake up. For now, I gonna go sleep with my bandana and try to digest it more. Another step done, a big step for me. I didn't do that bad after all! God is great.

PatFried
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2012

God is great and he is going to get us through this Eleanor. You were so brave just to let them shave your head. It couldn't have been easy seeing it come out clump by clump. Tomorrow is another day and you have taken one more big step in this journey that no one wants to be on. I'm thinking of you and praying for you. How are the other side effects going? When is your second treatment?

Hugs

Pat

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

Thank you Pat. My next one is this coming Weds...aches and pains, feeling like my lymph nodes at my neck were swollen, feeling like I have colds and fever but I really don't,, easily gets tired and a weird taste in my mouth....I didn't have nausea or diarrhea, more on constipation and bloating. First 3 days I was ok, the 4th to 7th day was when I was tired the most.after that I was better everyday. My tricked was eating every hour or so, anything I crave or anything I can put in my mouth, I ate it . I forced myself a little at a time, I think this made me fight the loss of energy. And don't forget lots of water. I also takes a short walk every now and then...you will get thought too Pat. How many you gonna have?

TexasCharlie's picture
TexasCharlie
Posts: 74
Joined: Nov 2012

believe it or not Eleanor I feel for you. For me it wasn't the hair on my head so much as the facial hair. I had hidden a scar on my upper lip all my adult life with a mustache and I had had a goatee for over 20 years. It was all a shock and I cried in private as I have done many times since the beast started changing my life. After all, I am a man and accepting this breast cancer and the treatments hasn't been real easy from my point of view. Ultimately, my trust is in God and His plan for me. Yes, God IS great!

Ritzy's picture
Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

I'm so very sorry Eleanor that you were even faced with this.

I'm sending you many, many comforting hugs today!

Sue :)

dianehelen's picture
dianehelen
Posts: 131
Joined: Nov 2012

OH Eleanor! Wow, huge milestone! I cant say Im happy for you, as I know how sad it is, but I will say Im proud of you, for just going for it. How does the wig look? As normal as possible?

More importantly how are you feeling a few weeks out.

HUGS and MORE HUGS to you!
Diane

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

The wig is great! Looks so natural except it feels kinda weird on my head...I wear it for about 20 mins and had a headache. I know I have to get use to it so I am planning to wear it today as long as I can. I am feeling tired these few days, I think more psychologically and stressed with this hair situation. That's what gave me the energy to just shave it because I could see my family suffering also while they see hair all over my body and all over the house. Next big step is to go out with my wig for the first time...I am still trying to get courage to do that...we'll see!

JanPat
Posts: 25
Joined: Nov 2012

You are doing such a great job of enduring the multitude of not so pleasant effects of this nasty disease! I wore hats instead of a wig because my hair had always been so thick I couldn't wear hats and I figured if I was going to have to go through this then I would at least have as much fun as possible. I received tons of compliments on my hats and had people that knew others going through cancer ask me where I found my hats. Stay strong and just keep facing each day as it comes!

DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

You will look beautiful with or without your wig!

Hugs, Debby

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5383
Joined: Oct 2010

Eleanor:

I have not expeienced this-but Just want to say I am thinking of you at this difficult time.

Denise

kacee999
Posts: 109
Joined: Oct 2012

When one door closes...another opens. Don't look at this as horrible...I found that when I went out in public wearing my scarves (and believe me there are wonderful beautiful scarves out there on line! Don't just settle for a bandana!) I had people coming up to me...fellow cancer patients giving me a high five, one woman in a restaurant who was wearing a hat that said Cancer Sucks, and obviously was going through it too, came and gave me a hug out of nowhere, people stopping me and saying they loved my scarves and they needed to get some for their sister, mother, daughter, friend who hadn't thought of those or seen any to purchase. I carried the websites around for all the places I bought my scarves. When I was done, I donated my scarves to a lady at work who was just diagnosed, and she has been thrilled. Experiment with your jewelry, dangley earrings looks GREAT! Put on more eye makeup! (www.headcovers.com; www.tlcdirect.org; www.4women.com; www.scarvesforcancerpatients.com)

desertgirl947's picture
desertgirl947
Posts: 433
Joined: Oct 2012

God is faithful and He is good.

I still had bristles when I had my friend Becky give me a buzz cut when I knew my hair was starting to come loose. I didn't want to be shedding clumps of hair; I preferred the bristles. Actually, I had three guests that day, which probably was a help to me in staying positive about all of this. Another thing that helped, I think, was that I had made the decision to go ahead and get a buzz and got it a little sooner than maybe I needed to; but I had enough evidence that my hair was going to fall out.

I had a terrycloth cap I wore at night to catch the bristles that might rub off through the night.

I think what bothered me most about the prospect of losing my hair was that I no longer would have some control over who knew my plight. People I did not even know would know. I did not want people feeling sorry for me.

I managed to let go, and I was all right with it. I do have a sense of humor, and that was a help to me in so many ways -- not that I laughed or made smart remarks a lot, but by doing so, I knew I was all right, as did my friends and family.

I realized that this was all part of having to do chemo. I did not have any real choice in the matter, if I wanted to go through the plan my DR had. This was not the only time I told myself this, but I know this was one of the times I told myself to JUST DEAL WITH IT! THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR NOW. EVENTUALLY IT WILL ALL BE IN THE PAST.

You will do fine. It just is a step by step process we all work through at different rates.

e

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

You are so right! I think with the aches and pains and other side effects I could deal with it privately but with the hair loss and going bald, it's like facing the world announcing to everyone what i have and dont want any sympathies either.I know there is nothing to be ashamed of but at the same time I want my privacy. Tomorrow I gonna conquer another step, I will go out for the first time with my wig on to my surgeon's office, and he is a friend of mine so let's see how it goes. I need to move on, I stayed at home all day couldn't face anyone except my family. But I promised myself, tomorrow is another day, and I will try my very best to make it a better day.

DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

How did it go?

PatFried
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2012

How did it go going out yesterday for the first time with your wig? How did things go with the surgeon?
Hopefully it will get easier.
Hugs and prayers.
Pat

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

How was your first venture out with your wig? I hope it was all positive.

edeg21
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2012

Hi Eleanor..I just joined this site and I have to agree with you on your feeling about the hair. Mine was short and I kept cutting it shorter. Once the pain in the hair got too bad, I shaved what I could, and then went to a barber. What a great guy! He fixed my mistakes and didn't charge me at all. While I don't like the bald look, I have to admit to not missing the care that hair needs..no washing, drying, styling gels!! Same with leg shaving and facial hair! Hats in the winter a good, but I found myself being too fussy! I like baseball caps and conductor style. I don't like scarves because it accentuates the roundness of the my head. I didn't get a wig..don't know if I will. maybe if I go for a job interview when my chemo is over..we'll see.
I hope you are feeling better. Take care, Donna

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

Everything went fine yesterday, it wasn't that bad. I was very conscious about the wig but I held my head high. Saw my surgeon, everyone was nice, my friend surgeon said that if he didn't know me, he wouldn't know that I was wearing a wig. It's getting better, I should never complain about my hair now, it's gone and have to move on...other things happening in this world that are far serious than me complaining about hair, and I thank God I have alternatives, those kids in CT. didn't have any, didn't have a chance to fight. Life is so precious, I thank God for today for tomorrow is really not a promised...I gonna go out again today, put my wig on proudly and believe in myself, this is not the end, it's another beginning!

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

Glad to know that your going out with your wig was good for you and that everything with your surgeon turned out well. Stay strong Eleanor.

PatFried
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2012

Im glad it went ok for you. How's did today go. Hopefully each day will get easier. Are the headaches getting better from the wig?

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

Yes, everyday is a new adjustment . It's getting better. I learned to put an extra hat in my bag in case it rains. I met an acquaintance today at the mall and she told me she likes the new haircut and asked where I got it. She sees me frequently at church but doesn't know about my condition. I was taken aback a little bit then I gave her my biggest smile and told her its my new wig. I guess I could have taken this in two ways but I took it positively. She was very nice and said she would have never guess that I am on chemo. It made my day. I was really nervous today in case I met someone out there I know and how would I react. I am glad I did. I felt so free.

desertgirl947's picture
desertgirl947
Posts: 433
Joined: Oct 2012

When I did decide to wear my hair, I had people I know tell me that at first they thought I had colored my hair. The length of my wig was similar to what I had, and I looked a lot like I do on my driver's license picture, which was last taken in 1995. (In NY we can renew licenses online.) I did plan my seating in church the first time I wore my wig to church to be just ahead of a woman who colors her hair -- everyone knows she colors her hair. I think that helped me a lot.

I think this all comes down to our having to work through things that are difficult. When we are ready, we are good to go.

DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

What a compliment! And, you were worried. Obviously you look fantastic! Yea for you!

Hugs, Debby

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Eleanor, I am so glad that you had a good day! Wishing you many, many more!

Hugs, Megan

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