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going it alone

Kjsb
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2010

New to posting, but I have been following everyone for a little while.
I have stage 4 in remission for 2 years!! no treatment, feeling really good. last few years heave been very difficuly physically and emotionally- you have to count in the crazt menopause. Anyway, my normally wonderful husband has been very distant since my diagnosis and the marriage has been stressed the past year. he me someone in August and lives with her now. My heart is broken and the teenagers are furious with him... any advice?? ideas?? i have to move and was trying to descide to buy or rent..concern about recurrance and being alone with a mortage..but after reading the posts on retirement I have descided to buy because i am here now and living now and the kids and I deserve our own home!!!
anyone else with similar experience??

chp's picture
chp
Posts: 23
Joined: Dec 2012

2 years---yes! Don't have any answers for you, but you've made it this far--you must be one strong lady! If you need someone to listen, I'm here. Hang in there--sending prayers up for you!
Cathy

chp's picture
chp
Posts: 23
Joined: Dec 2012

2 years---yes! Don't have any answers for you, but you've made it this far--you must be one strong lady! If you need someone to listen, I'm here. Hang in there--sending prayers up for you!
Cathy

chp's picture
chp
Posts: 23
Joined: Dec 2012

2 years---yes! Don't have any answers for you, but you've made it this far--you must be one strong lady! If you need someone to listen, I'm here. Hang in there--sending prayers up for you!
Cathy

Sorry double click :(

mom_2_3's picture
mom_2_3
Posts: 937
Joined: Nov 2008

I don't have any particular opinion either way. Some things to consider are the current state of the housing market in your particular location and whether you anticipate the housing market becoming stronger or weaker over the next few years. I would definitely do an analysis of costs as the determinant for which way you go. Also, having a house would provide some stability to your children in the event of something happening in the future. My niece's parents divorced and being able to have a place to call home that was permanent was very important to her.

I have been wanting to do our kitchen for years but I told myself we would get it done hen I reached 5 years remission. I am 3 years and 8 months in remission since my liver resection and instead of a kitchen we are now planning on a pool next year!

I live in NJ. If you would ever like to meet and chat over a cup of coffee or tea, let me know!

Best of luck,
Amy

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 541
Joined: Mar 2010

I'm so happy for your 2 years in remission but sorry about your marital struggles. I'm sorry you feel alone in this fight - please rely on this group for support - they're a wonderful, caring group of people. I read your profile. We have some experiences in common (lung recurrence, surgery, choosing not to have treatment). I hope your remission continues for many years.

k44454445's picture
k44454445
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

about your husband leaving. congrats on the 2 years. you sound like a strong woman so please hang in there!
hugs
judy

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1266
Joined: Nov 2001

I have been ca free for over14 years. Unfortunately for most of those years I have suffered ill health. Quite a few years ago my wife got sick and tired of living with constant illness and asked me to leave. I suspected and later confirmed there was someone else.I having been living alone in a flat ever since. I still work tho not enough to pay off a house and keep on top of medical expenses. I have grown children from a previous marriage. Kids are always angry tho most of the time they don't know why themselves. I see them as often as they will let me. Life is a struggle. It is not nice being on your own and sick, but in my opinnion it is much better than being in a bad relationship and being sick. I don't socialise at all but then I don't waste any money. I am happy enough to rent it is the least stressful avenue for me. My wife broke up with the boyfriend and we are still good friends but I doubt we will ever get togeather again. I don't want any more emotional stress. My best wishes for your continued recovery and for whatever choice you make. Ron.

Brenda Bricco's picture
Brenda Bricco
Posts: 549
Joined: Aug 2011

Cancer changes everything... even the things that are suppose to last your whole life. I know how it feels to lose a marriage after an illness but the the good news is that you are here and doing well - so don't be afraid to live and even love again. :)
GOD bless you.
Brenda

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