Dec 02, 2012 - 12:50 pm
I had my hysterectomy in Feb. Went through 25 treatments of radiation after, and thought I was "all clear".... Well my pap came back with abnormal cell readings, precancerous readings. So now I have to get more testing done (getting what they need from there) to see if it is precancerous cells. Dr says it may be false readings from radiation, but I am losing hope as I have to keep going back, after I am told I'm "done". I found out last year Dec.30th that I had Cervical cancer and now here we are the holidays again, one year later. I can't seem to tell my family I may not be in the clear. I have been avoiding the what if's and trying to not worry till I know for sure, but I am just really so scared. Nothing seems to be all clear does it? I don't want to ruin the holidays again. Really I just want to run away on vacation with my son and enjoy life. I can't even afford to do that. I'm usually positive, but today I just want to cry and feel sorry for myself. I thought I was a survivor, and now does this mean I may not be? Thanks for listening to me rant.....