Nov 28, 2012 - 9:07 am
Hi, I feel strange posting on here without a diagnosis, but I think I'm losing my mind during this wait.
About 4-6 weeks ago, I had a scary, severe, midcycle hemorrhage. It smelt absolutely vile (sorry for TMI). It was nothing like my periods, and I was extremely sick at the time.
Since then, I get a watery discharge (not bad smelling, but not the usual smell either) that can be very heavy, sometimes soaking through to the outside of my clothes.
I'm constantly exhausted and everyday, I have really bad pelvic pains. My lower back hurts a lot, my lower ribs hurt, and my stomach gets quite bloated most of the time. My groin gets a lot of pains too, as does my shoulder, legs and feet.
I've lost over 10 kilos in the past month or so with no effort, yet my bloated stomach makes me look gigantic.
A fibroid was found in my recent ultrasound (10mm). Today I changed doctors (last one was dismissive), and finally got a pap smear (other doctor kept putting it off)
Doctor saw abnormal tissue with her naked eye and asked if I knew about it. Once I got home, I got a call from her receptionist saying that the doctor was a bit worried about my lump she found, and had talked to a gyno about it, and he wants to see me quickly.
My doctor wants me to jump the queue somewhat, because she wants to hurry this along. So, within a one to three months, I should be seeing the gyno for a colposcopy.
I'm relieved someone's finally taking me seriously, as I have been bedridden the past 4-6 weeks more often than not, and haven't been coping with day-to-day life very well at all. I know I'm really sick, I just want to find whatever it is and treat it!
I don't know how I'm going to mentally handle this 1-3 month wait. My partner has mental illness and I'm his carer, plus we have three kids, so I really need to be able to get up again and be physically able to do more, yesterday!
My partner isn't handling the stress well, either. I'm sure normally, a partner wouldn't, but with his mental illness, it just magnifies it. A big part of his illness is that he sees me as his 'anchor' and feels most comfortable and safe when I'm with him.
I've spent the afternoon unable to look at my kids or be in the same room as them, because I don't want them to pick up on the fact that something is wrong, by seeing how upset I am. I can't look at them without wanting to burst into tears, because the thought of them going through having a mum with cancer is more than I can bear.
My six year old son a few months ago, was obsessed with constantly telling me he doesn't want me to die, and I have no idea where these thoughts were coming from. He's just stopped saying these things a month or two ago, so obviously, I'm pretty stressed at the thought of how he will react if something is wrong.
I know you guys can't diagnose me, so don't panic, lol! I plan to leave no stone unturned, but now I've find a good doctor, that doesn't seem to be such a worry now.
I just needed to talk about this somewhere online, and don't want too many people to know what's going on, when I don't know either. Only my parents and my partner knows about this, so far.