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Posts: 671
Joined: Apr 2010

Friends, my beautiful girl has gone to rest. Monday at 9:45 my daughter rested her head in my hands and peacefully fell asleep in death. She struggled for one year to date but lost the battle.
Our Congregation, family, friends and the hospital stood up for us to the end. She will be cremated tomorrow. We will be having a memorial service for her in a week. She would not have wanted this any other way. She hated people looking at her sympathetically while she was sick.
I know that God did not create us to cry and grieve all the time, but at the same time, how do we put the pieces back together. When and how long does this take. At least I must let you know that for one year I prayed that God give me the strength and health to take care of my daughter. I thank Him for that privilege. I will continue praying for all the friends on this forum and wish you all continued health. My love and thanks to all of you for your prayers and good wishes.

daisy366's picture
Posts: 1493
Joined: Mar 2009

My heart bleeds for you. I know yours is broken. I'm glad you have such strong faith and community support at this horrible time.

May you and your family find comfort in happy memories. I'm glad your sweet daughter is no longer suffering.

Love and prayers, Mary Ann

Posts: 111
Joined: Sep 2010

God turned his back when Jesus died on the cross. The pain was too much for even he to bear. Go ahead - grieve. You need to do that and then eventually the precious memories won't hurt so much.
I am so sorry for your loss and I am thankful that you were able to take care of her to the end.
Hugs my friend, try to rest - you need your strength too.

Posts: 111
Joined: Sep 2010

dupe - sorry

jazzy1's picture
Posts: 1387
Joined: Mar 2010

I'm deeply saddened to read of your loss. Words simply cannot convey my sorrow, but know she's now at peace and in spirit.

Allow yourself to grieve and know your sisters here will keep you and your family in our prayers for strength to endure.


ConnieSW's picture
Posts: 774
Joined: Jun 2012

I do not know how one goes on after the death of one's child but know with the support of those who love you, you will find your way. May all your treasured memories bring you comfort. Please take care of yourself.

Posts: 146
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Nempark:

I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's death yesterday. She was so young. My heart goes out to you. I will say a prayer for your daughter. You have to be devastated. That's wonderful that everyone you knew was behind you on behalf of your daughter's sickness and that is really important.

Sadly, I just lost my first cousin to brain cancer (glioblastoma multiforme 4) the same type of cancer that Ted Kennedy had. He passed away on Monday, Nov. 19th and his funeral was today in Maryland. He was diagnosed in June 2010, so he actually lived about 29 months with this cancer, and had 3 brain cancer surgeries although he contacted meningitis back in Sept. and never recovered and that is what killed him. His immune system was weakened by everything he had gone through recently. He lived in Maryland and I live in PA.

It was a very sad day for our family as well as this past week (since he passed away 8 days ago) as we were very close to my cousin. My cousin was 73 and he leaves behind a wife of 42 years, his daughter, son and granddaughter, my Mom who is his Godmother (my mother is 89 and is still in good health and I feel so blessed and grateful that she is still here), a number of cousins, nieces, nephews and friends.

As far as to how long this will take to get over your daughter's death - give it about a year to 2 years. Time will help you and your grief will lessen, and I am sure you have good memories of your daughter and that will help you through this. Try and think of the good times you had with her.

I lost my father to cancer (prostate) in 1992 and it took me about a year and a half to feel better and to go on with my life and to accept his death. I still miss my Dad a lot as he and I were very close and I always will forever miss him. My Dad passed away in the spring of 1992 so it is a little over 20 years. I have great memories of my father and that is what I think about often.

You will forever miss your daughter, but she eventually will want you to go on with your life. You do have to grieve and it will help with your healing, and in time it will lessen and things do get easier as time goes on.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


Ro10's picture
Posts: 1579
Joined: Jan 2009

My deepest sympathy. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. You and your family remain in my prayers. In peace and caring.

Sisters three's picture
Sisters three
Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2012

You are going to be busy for the next week, throw yourself into it. Laugh with those who bring up memories of happy times, rest when you are able.
Be proud of your daughter but also of yourself. You did good. You found the strength to get through this now allow others to handle what you don't have to.
The pain never goes away, you just make room for it. It does get easier. Give yourself time and be KIND to yourself, you deserve to be taken care of for the next few weeks if you have anyone to do this. I lost a 22 year old son 10 years ago to an accident. I had three friends who all lost adult children to talk with me and that helped. Your going to get through this! it's okay to smile with others it's okay to be relieved that she is gone and not in pain anymore. Any emotion or feeling is okay.


Posts: 671
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you so much. I am doing exactly what you suggested. All the friends from the Congregation are bring food and juices. They even went to the Funeral home with us. We are blessed to have such good friends. I am sure you experienced the same when you lost your beloved son. Laughing I am not too sure of, I feel like telling everyone who is laughing to SHUT UP I know that is not a good thing on my part. How can they be laughing
when I lost my loved one. Thank you lisa there is a scripture in the Bible Revelation 21:3,4--There will be no more sickness, no more crying or no more death, the former things have passed" I am living for this hope. thank you1

Sisters three's picture
Sisters three
Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2012

Someone will bring you a memory of something crazy your daughter did....you will picture it, maybe remember it. You won't be able to stop yourself from chuckling. Then her sick memories will fade a touch.

take care


debrajo's picture
Posts: 860
Joined: Sep 2011

My dear Nempark,I am sorry. Words are not enough...it takes another mothers heartache to know what you will have to face. You asked how long this grief last...I believe forever. It has been 22 years since I lost my son Joshua. This too, is a new normal in our lives. You can never put grief behind you, and you must not let grief stand in front of you, try to learn to let grief walk at your side, always there, but not in control. This takes time and patience, as I said, it's been 22 years and I still grieve. No parent should out live their children...it's just unnatural. Know we are here for you, I'm up at all hours. Call me if you need to talk 409-786-2819 God bless and comfort you, debrajo

HellieC's picture
Posts: 504
Joined: Nov 2010

I am so, so sorry to hear your sad news. There are no words that can ease your pain, but know that so many of us here are thinking and praying for you and your family. Please take comfort from knowing that you could have done no more - you were there for your daughter at every stage and that is something precious that no one can take from you.
May God bless you and support you through this dreadful time.

crystalblue1208's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Apr 2012

I wish there is any word I could say to wash away your sorrow and take away your pain. I am so sorry for the lost of your daughter. She had a tough fight and she fought it well. Today is the day of her victory and she now has gone to a better place where she will have no pain, no tears but peace and joy. She will always remain in everyone's heart and in your memories.

txtrisha55's picture
Posts: 469
Joined: Apr 2011

So sorry to hear of the passing of your daughter. May God continue to give you and your family the strength and health to get through the next months while greiving the loss. I will continue pryaing for your daughter, you and your family and friends. trish

norma2's picture
Posts: 486
Joined: Aug 2009

Want you to know you are in my prayers. I know God welcomed your beautiful girl. May you find peace in comfort in the days ahead. Norma

Posts: 120
Joined: Feb 2011


You have my deepest sympathy for your loss. You gave your daughter the most precious gifts that you could....your love, strength, care and support. I know how heartbreaking it is to have to watch someone that you love that much leave. With a wound as deep as yours, it takes a lot of time. You will never get past this, but instead learn to find a better way to live with it. My heart goes out to you. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. May God hold you in his arms and give you comfort.


Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2492
Joined: Jun 2010

My heart aches for you, Nempark. I'm deeply sorry for your loss of your daughter. Stay surrounded by those who love you and loved her. You're in my thoughts and prayers.


Sara Zipora's picture
Sara Zipora
Posts: 231
Joined: Sep 2010

Our combined hearts weep for you. Though I'm sure your daughter is in a better place, her loss is felt by those who are here. The 'empty' space is full of not full of nothing. Rather I see it as A Hole in the world that her existence has made.

In my understanding of our (Jewish) conceptualization, she exists to to be a 'lawyer' interlocutor for us on earth with God.

May her memory be a blessing to you and yours.


laura25's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Mar 2011

I am so sorry, words can't convey the sorrow I feel for you. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

CindyGSD's picture
Posts: 191
Joined: Aug 2011

...no words can ease your pain, but I am thinking of you and wishing you the very best during this horrible time in your life.


Shell bug's picture
Shell bug
Posts: 73
Joined: Nov 2011

I am so sorry you have to endure such pain. I am thinking of you and yours.


Sisters three's picture
Sisters three
Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2012

I continue to think of you several times a day. Hoping you are eating, drinking and taking care to not get sick.
I pray that you get a little peaceful sleep and someone has put up a few Christmas lights to brighten your rooms at night.

Take care!

Teamkelly's picture
Posts: 63
Joined: Sep 2012

Dear Nempark,

My heart is breaking for you, I have 2 daughters and cannot say that I know what you are going thru, none of us who has never lost a child could. I am thankful for your church and hospital family, may they comfort you in the coming days. There is a book, I think it is by James Dobson "When Bad Things happen To Good People", I have heard that this has comforted people after a loss of a loved one. Nempark God sees your tears and catches everyone, we never know how many people were touched by you and your daughter thru her illness and my prayer is that He will allow you to see some of the results.


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