Nov 17, 2012 - 4:42 am
Hello, brave women. :) I was hoping you could offer advice on how to handle the anxiety that comes with this disease. I was not what you'd call an optimistic personality before diagnosis, so getting cancer makes things rather more challenging. It's been about 2.5 years since my diagnosis of 3C, surgery, and chemo, but I still have a hard time with worrying. I have a 4-month CA125 test coming up in mid-December, and my always present anxiety has ramped up that much more. Every little ache or pain or "strange feeling" causes me to get obsessively worried. Like right now I'm worried about my tummy feeling bloated, some small, odd pains in my mid and lower back, and a strange 'hitch' feeling in my right hip and leg. Basically, when any 'abnormal' physical thing happens, I worry that it's the ovarian cancer coming back or some new cancer popping up out of the blue. And I know the anxiety won't relent until I receive some good news that gives me renewed hope, like if my CA125 turns out to be under 10 or something. If that happens I might get a week or so of gladness and relief, and usually diminishing of physical issues, but then the worry will just start creeping back and building all over again.
Do you folks experience this too? How do you deal with it? I try to approach each day with thankfulness for Life. I feel like other people expect me to be this upbeat, strong, extroverted 'survivor' person. But if I'm honest I think I'm depressed most every day.
Thanks very much for anything you can share on how to handle the worry. Assuming I am not just going nutty..:)