Nov 01, 2012 - 1:58 pm
August 12, 2011, the Doctor came in my room after a routine colonoscopy told me that he found cancer. The tumor was real close to the anus. My husband and I went into shock. Now, what? Appointments were made. Test were taken. Then the news that the tumor make be too close to the anus to be saved. The cancer was stage 2. The only blessing I saw at the time. Chemo and radiation was first. Then about a month out from surgery, my surgeon told me of a new procedure he heard of at a conference he recently attended. He thought I would be a candidate. He had heard of only 5 doctors in the country that did this procedure and one of the doctors was at Duke. After more test, I was a candidate. I was to have a temporary illiostomy after more chemo, then the reversal. I don't know which was worst the chemo and radiation or recovering from surgery. I had every complication there was except for pneumonia, I even had blood clots in my lungs. I also lost my spleen during surgery because my colon was up around my diaphragm. Two weeks after my last chemo, I had the reversal. Now, I don't know what to do. I know I am depressed. There is no one locally that I can talk to about what to expect. I have gone through eating then to the toilet. I have been constipated then to diarrhea within a day. The pain of going to the toilet at times is unbearable. Then I still worry about the cancer coming back. All I do is work and rest. I want to excerise but to scared that I might have an accident. I am learning to eat again. Certain foods bother me where as others causes weight gain. I am still tired all the time, when will that stop? When will I have a sense of normal ( a new normal)? What got me through this past year was my faith in God and my humor. My humor is now starting to slip. My faith will not!