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Am I a survivor

Chell626
Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2012

My name is Chelle. I was diagnosed with Stage IIIc triple negative IDC breast cancer last november (2011). I went through 4 months of chemo then a double masectomy this past may. I really appreciate everything my doctors did for me. I was to have 37 treatments of tomotherapy but unfortunately, I could not afford the copayments or any follow ups to the doctors. I was very lucky to have the insurance to get the treatment I did. Anyway, my story starts many years ago but I won't go back that far. The day I came home from my family doctor this past november, I let my husband and daughter know he found 2 large lumps in my breasts and I was to go get a mamogram and a biopsy. My daughter grabbed me and hugged me and said we will get through this. My husband asked me what I was going to do. He totally checked out. My "Angel" - aka my daughter - has been my total support. coming with me to EVERY appointment, staying up with me at night through chemo then staying with me 24hours a day during my masectomy. She is golden to me. Although I cannot even afford to go to any follow ups, her first words in the morning are "you are beautiful mom, how are you feeling today?" Knowing we may or may not have enough to get by, she makes me smile. The reason I ask if I am a survivor is, isn't surviving having faith? Isn't surviving having the will and way to move on? I feel like a lost soul. I want so bad to be able to care for my child but I don't know how. Thank you for letting me vent

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

Yes you are a survivor! From the day you were diagnosed you become a survivor. Why? Because your life changed that day. You went to treatment. You might want to check with your hospital social worker to see if they know of any help you can get with medical bills. Also, ask the American Cancer society about programs they have. These wont pay your bills, but they have some good programs that can help you. They might also be able to suggest where you might find funding to complete your treatment. I'm glad you have your daughter to support you. I'm sorry your husband has checked out. I think sometimes they do that because they feel like they can't cope. As a caregiver, I have a really hard time understanding how or why a spouse doesn't step up. Sadly, we read here about many who don't.

I would encourage you to check out the breast cancer board here. That is the most active broad with some very caring and helpful people. I understand they even have a Christmas Ornament Exchance. Come here to vent anytime you want. Give your daughter a big hug for me. Fay

Noellesmom
Posts: 1275
Joined: Aug 2010

First of all, what a beautiful name, Chelle!

Have you contacted your local American Cancer Society about help with your treatment costs? I don't know where you live or what the laws in your state are but I don't believe they can deny you treatment based on the payment of co-pays. You've talked with your insurance people and explained the situation? The doctor's office's staff should work with you to come up with a payment plan.

You have to let agencies know you are having a lot of trouble making your payments - everyone from your mortgage holder to the lienholder on your car - these days, more people are having trouble than ever making ends meet, cancer or not.

A survivor - no, you are not, Chelle. You are not going to settle for that.

You are a THRIVER. You've been the hub of your family for many years, through other cancer and treatments and heaven knows what else. You've taught your daughter very well the importance of a positive attitude.

And you will continue fighting and taking small victories until you have won this battle again.

Come back and share these victories with us. THEY ARE IMPORTANT.

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