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mother recently diagnosed...

Safewaychick's picture
Safewaychick
Posts: 15
Joined: Oct 2012

hello to whomever decides to read this... i just needed a place where i could put down my... every thought.
I can't really believe that life would throw such a hurdle at us. my step dad passed away of lung cancer in aug 2002. My grandpy passed away of prostate cancer in feb 2007, and my father passed away from gillian bar syndrome in march 2007 also. so we are not shy? of lifes hurdles. Just greatly unappreciative of the way life in some regards.

My mom is a 62 yr old strong willed, smart, just incredibly amazing rock of a woman.
she is just great, she is my rock. i dont know what i would do without her.

we never really got along in my younger years, (ha.. i'm 28, and the only child) before i grew up to say the least... we've never been entirely close to being best friends. but she is my friend, my rock, my mommy..

I live 6 hours away from her, and i'm a workaholic to say the least...so i don't get to spend alot of time with her. which at this point i'm kinda disappointed in myself that i haven't gotten to know my mother as the woman she is. Like i know her, i just don't KNOW her .. you know?? hard to explain

She starts her first treatment of chemo and radiation tomorrow. and i'm going to suprise her by being there.
I want to be the strong person shes been for me, and i think deep down i can be.. but i still want to be mommy's little girl and crawl up in her lap and bawl my eyes out. i'm bawling for the first time right now as i write this..

I don't think i have questions, as to what all of this 'cancer' is or will do to my mom. Ive researched the crap out of it. (god i'm so much like my mom)

So Worried
Posts: 111
Joined: Aug 2012

Gosh, you have been through so much sorrow already and you and so young. I admire your strength. I think it's absolutely awesome that you are surprising your mom!! I'm sure that will make her SO happy :) When my hubby had surgery in July, my daughter (around your age) surprised me by coming to town (she lives 5 hours away). She kept saying "do you want me to come?" I kept replying "no"...I explained that he was having surgery and I would just be sitting by him when he was done and there was nothing she could do and it would be totally boring! We had this converstion at least 5-6 times. So...the day of his surgery I was sitting there waiting...and guess who shows up??? I must say, I was never, ever so happy!! I started crying a little just knowing she loved me that much and didn't listen to me (even tho I was very stern about it) So anyway, I think your mom will love you being there and that is so, so sweet of you to travel that far even though I'm sure you are super busy at work. You are a wonderful daughter!!!! Good luck to your mom getting through her treatment. You can come in some other time and fill us in on how she is doing.

LOUSWIFT
Posts: 360
Joined: Aug 2006

When something has the potential of going bad we all look back and ask the "what if" questions...the "why didn't I do more"..."why wasn't I a better Dad, Mother, daughter, son, etc." guess what in the final analysis it only matters to the one asking the questions of themselves and if you do then you're a better person than you give yourself credit to be. We are always more critical of ourselves than we should because those you love love you because of your virtues and faults. Do the best you can for your Mom I'm sure she'll understand and keep in mind being there for your Mom may not be what she wants. I know many times I wished my family wasn't there to watch what I was going through so talk to her and understand her presepective. Best of luck Lou

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2942
Joined: Jan 2010

You are welcome here for whatever you need. Putting things down in "writing" often helps us to work out issues or the formulate a plan.

My daughter and I had our difficulties during her maturing years, but when I had my surgery and since she has been a great support to me.

The most loving thing you can do for your mom now is to let her know you are by her side thru this...if not literally at least emotionally.

As her treatment progresses, don't hesitate to come here and ask questions, as there is a wealth of knowledge in the minds of those here based on their own experiences.

Wishing you and your mom the best,

Marie who loves kitties

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