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When are these tears going to stop???

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi,
My husband died 2 & 1/2 years ago, but I'm having a terrible time today. The tears started again for no reason. Unless it was because I had to take my car in and had to make a decision on what they should do. A $1700.00 repair job will depress anyone I guess. But always wonder if they are taking advantage cause I'm a woman.
I always miss my Tom at the change of seasons also. Went into a department store the other day and got all choked up when I saw Christmas decorations again. Even though I have 3 kids & 3 grandkids, it still isn't the same. Does anyone else feel the same way?
It seems like I'm doing good & all of a sudden I crash and don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening. "Carole"

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

Those sudden tears still come now and then, and it will be three years for me on October 20. I never know what I'll get emotional over. Even family get togethers can be hard at times. I love being with family, but can't help thinking he should be there, too. This year I will be at a Breast Cancer luncheon on the 20th because I have been asked to speak about our cancer support group. I'm not sure how that will affect me. I'll be with friends anyway. Lots of cyber hugs. I hope today is a better day. Fay

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

I am so glad that I'm not the only one that has these times. I didn't even go to my brothers 75th birthday party cause Tom & him were so close & I just knew I would end up crying and didn't want to wreck the party. You must have loved your husband like I loved Tom and it's so hard to go on without them. He would be retired now and we had so many plans. I always get sad during the change of seasons too. We loved going for long walks in the fall when the leaves were so pretty.
Good luck on the 20th when you give your speech.
Thanks for your support!! Carole

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

Carole,

I dont think that the tears will ever stop. Not that we wont go on with our lives, but missing them when the seasons change or on that special day, or sometimes when you smell something that brings all the sweet memories flooding back over you. It just lets you know that they were someone special that time will ease the pain but all the good times are lock in our brain only to come out when we least expect them too.

Steve

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

David hasn't died yet but his descent has recently become steeper.

I am not in a place where I can make a rational judgement, but I feel like the tears will never stop.

Fall is my favorite season and I was watching the leaves twirl down from the trees and I cried a long time about that. I can't bear to think about the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Cindy,
The holidays have been hard for me since 1989 when my mom died right before Christmas. And in 1990 right after Christmas, my dad died. And now my husband of 46 years passed away in March, 2010, so Easter is hard also. I always wish I could go to sleep & wake up when they're over. The other day I was in the mall and saw Christmas decorations in one of the dept. stores and just started crying & had to walk out. When we lose someone we love, it's just hard to go on. I hope you have kids & family & friends who can help make this easier for you. No one understands until they go through it. All we have are our memories, so lets try and be strong. "Carole"

alisa d's picture
alisa d
Posts: 10
Joined: Oct 2012

my husband has not passed but his prognosis is very poor. he is only 29 years old and we have 2 small children. it seems all i do is cry. i think about how my babies will never really know their father they are only 4 and 2 . he used to be a weight lifter now he struggles with the slightest bit of exertion.... i feel horrible but sometimes i have to leave the room as to not burst into tears in front of him...my heart is broken when i think of all the things he will never ger to be involved in as our babies get older

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