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New Cancer Patient HELLO!

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi Everyone. I am trying to figure this site out. I had my hysterectomy on October 2 and subsequently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Someone recommended this site for support. I was kind of scared to get on the site because then I would have to admit I am sick. My caregiver, my Husband has been freaking out. I find I have to give him support. LOL. I think I will refer him to this site. I see there is chat rooms and information and caregivers.

lovesanimals's picture
lovesanimals
Posts: 1280
Joined: Sep 2011

You're come to the right place for information and support! I have found that the women on this board are very caring and sympathetic and everyone completely understands what you're going through because we're all in the same boat. Your husband may be interested in knowing that there are also a few caregiver husbands who post regularly on this board, along with sons/daughters whose mothers have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

We can all truly understand your fear and anxieties. Please let us know if you have any questions too about the next steps in your journey - tests, chemo, etc. Based on this board, I can tell you there are many women, stages 3 and 4, who are living long and productive lives. One of my friends is a nine-year stage 3C survivor. I myself was diagnosed stage 2b and I have been NED (no evidence of disease) for two years (and counting!).

Please take care and sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your husband.

Kelly

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1281
Joined: Jun 2010

I was in the middle of treatment; completely overwhelmed and sick. It was a godsend. That was in June of 2010 and I come here everyday. With these wonderful women I found the freedom to express whatever I am feeling and to share good or bad news. There is a feeling of complete acceptance which is hard to find anywhere else.

I am sorry you had to come here but I know you will find knowledge, understanding and compassion that will help you along your journey.

Karen

lulu1010's picture
lulu1010
Posts: 367
Joined: Feb 2011

I am so sorry we had to meet this way but it is a tough thing to go thru and I think you will find lots of info and support here. I was diagnosed in August 2010 and had a 9 month remission and I am once again in treatment but not to despair....I am going on a golf vacation next week!
Let us know how you are doing and feel free to ask questions.
Wishing you the best!

Glad to be done's picture
Glad to be done
Posts: 558
Joined: Jul 2012

This group is the best. I wish I would have found it during my treatments.. I was diagnosed in January of this year with stage 3C. I was that stage because they found the cancer microscopically on the two lymph nodes my right ovary was sitting on. I had 6 rounds of cisplatia/taxol and finished up the end of June, had my scan the end of July and it was clean...Yay...

What stage were you diagnosed? Have you found out what kind of treatment you will be having?

This group is the best. It seems that every question gets answered because somebody has had the experience.. You will find it very helpful.

Eileen

mopar
Posts: 1954
Joined: Apr 2003

I truly understand your fears, and those of your husband as well. My husband, although he wouldn't show it, was petrified. But you have come to the right place for support, info, and lots of (((HUGS)))! And your husband is welcome also.

Please give us some info on your situation - stage, plans for chemotherapy, etc. We would love to help you walk this journey in any way we can!

Sending prayers, too!

Monika

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Thanks everyone for all the warm welcomes. I never thought in a thousand years I would find myself in this spot, especially ovarian cancer. I have found myself wishing it could have been something a little less scary, like cervical.

I have not been staged yet but the GYN Oncologist gave me an idea of what stage it might be when I woke up from my hysterectomy. He said it was encapsulized which is good and it had grown on to my pelvic wall. I also had an inflammed lymthnode right next tot he tumer. He said just because it was inflammed does not mean it has caner in it. I have to wait until the pathology report. Maybe today. He said because it was connected the pelvic wall it was automatically a stage 2, maybe a 3 if the cancer in in the lymthnode.

I don't know what to feel at this time. I guess I feel more scared and depressed than anything else. I feel like my life is on hold, I just got promoted at work and I have young grandchildren. I was excited about the next stage of my life. I planned to workout a lot. I even signed up for the Patrick Dempsey Challenge, a 50 mile bike ride to raise money for cancer. I had been training for it.

My caregive, my Husband needs training in this area. He got fustrated the other night making dinner for me because the grill was not hot in time or he thought it was out of propane. He got mad and through his dinner in the trash and raised his voice and yelled a swear word. Then yesterday I had a moment when I started crying and he broke down sobbing and I had to console him instead of the way it should of been. I told him can not be this way with me and he needs to go to a support group or therapy. I even told him about his site. We will see.

My follow up visit to get my staples out of my belly is October 18th. At that time we will discuss treatment options and staging. I am finding hard to keep my chin up. Been throwing myself in television.

I enjoy reading the postive stories. It makes me feel like there may be some hope. This stinks.

MJensen
Posts: 93
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi,
My husband has reacted the same way. I am sure it is tough for him to handle and he hasn't figured it all out. You sound like a strong determined person and hopefully your pathology results will give you some good news. You and your husband will find the strength to get through this. We all do somehow. I am new on this site as well. It has already helped me to have a place to vent. I know if you can't make the bike challenge this year you will next year! Positive thoughts and energy heading your way!!!!

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Well I know I am not stage one because the tumor had attached itself to the pelvic wall. How is your husband now? Are you newly diagnosed? I wish I lived closer to my Mom and the rest of my family. They live 7 hours away.

kimberly sue 63's picture
kimberly sue 63
Posts: 404
Joined: Apr 2012

welcome. Sorry to hear you have been diagnosed. This site can give your strength and a place to vent. Best of luck to you. Kim

DianaCEO
Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2012

I too had surgery 10/2/2012. I hope you are doing well. I am still in the hospital for 3 more days then I will get out. I have Stage 4 dx. 6/28/12 but was NED on a CT 9/24 and NED was seen in surgery. I completed 6 rounds of carboplatin and taxol.

My husband is my caregiver also and he has literally not left my side since we first got the diagnosis. We have been married 32 years and he has shown no signs of the strain except his beard has gone white. Other than that he tries so hard to stay positive.

Please let us know how you are doing.

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

What does the DX mean in the stage? How are you doing now?

Cafewoman53's picture
Cafewoman53
Posts: 738
Joined: Jul 2010

I was diagnosed lllC in June 2010 and I am still here and doing well. The shock when you are first diagnosed is overwhelming,you and your husband will find a way to deal with it. For me this site was a lifeline the women on here have so much info, it is so helpful. and we have been through what you are going through.
Take a deep breath and just take it slow, we are here if you have any questions,need to vent or just "talk".
Colleen

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

I guess it is normal to feel in a panic. I cry really easy and with no warning, but wipe my eyes and watch tv or something. I am afraid if I really let go I am going off the edge. I am crying while I type this. How long did it take for you to go into remission?

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 1537
Joined: Mar 2010

Dx. means Diagnosed, thus for me: Dx 4/6/2007. Hx would be history, Tx can be used for treatment, Bx for biopsy.

Despite being found on my ovary, mine was not ovarian cancer, but rather Stage IV Appendix cancer - the cells told the pathologist that the cancer had originated elsewhere.

You are still in the state of shock; your mind (and your husband's) are spinning, and we all know that when the lights go off at night, the brain turns on.

Trust me when I say that things will get calmer. Once you know what you need to do and start working proactively towards getting the cancer gone, you will feel better.

In the meantime, if there is a Gilda's Club or Hope Club near you, they have separate support groups for patients and caregivers. Ask your cancer center about support groups. And don't hesitate to look to a therapist for support for either you or your husband or both. This is big stuff.

By the way, at 5+ years out from a horrible diagnosis, multiple surgeries and chemos, I am now fine, and hope to be in full remission for years. I have my life back. And I wish you the same.

Alice

Cafewoman53's picture
Cafewoman53
Posts: 738
Joined: Jul 2010

It is totally normal to cry. When I was first diagnosed I would start crying at a red light, it would just overwhelm me at odd times and I just let it out and usually feel better afterwards. It took me a while to get into remission ,about a year and a half, but that is not the norm.
I have not changed my diet much, this is just my opinion but so many women who were good eaters and exercised alot are on this board in the same boat as me. Of course it would be better to eat healthy and exersise but will it help us survive this cancer? I doubt it.
Do whatever you have to so you are strong enough to survive the chemo, getting enough sleep and avoiding stress or learning how to deal with stress is just as important as your diet.
They don't have a cure for us yet but it may be around the corner and I plan to be here when they do find it !
Colleen

Mwee's picture
Mwee
Posts: 1316
Joined: Nov 2009

I'm so glad that you found your way here. I'm a 6 1/2 year survivor (3C) and what you and your husband are feeling sounds very normal to me. My husband is a "fixer" type personality. Most of us will tell you that we find ourselves comforting those around us, but here you can speak about your fears, questions, frustrations, etc. without the worry of upsetting loved ones. We'll be here for you every step of the way.
(((HUGS))) Maria

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Thanks for your reply. It is good to see a 6 1/2 year survivor. It gives me hope. Did you cancer ever come back? My Oncologist told me he is not worried about putting me in remission; staying in remission is the trick. Did you change your lifestyle, such as eating better and exercising more?

I am only 1 week out from my surgery and I am still having pain from my surgery. I am also very tired. I guess 1 week out from a total adominal hysterectomy is not that long.

Mwee's picture
Mwee
Posts: 1316
Joined: Nov 2009

my cancer came back after 3 years. I've always been a healthy type eater and active, so I didn't really make huge changes except that I had a different outlook. For me, this experience has made me appreciate life so much more and taught me that how tough we can be when we need to "pull up our big girl panites". All of the survivors here fear recurrance. It's very normal to feel extra anxiety when ONC appts. are coming up and when starting chemo, etc. We'll be here for you. For now, please rest up and be good to yourself and know you can come hear and be understood.
(((HUGS))) Maria

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

You must be in remission now then. Thanks for the nice words Maria. It does help.

Pam

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Hello Pam1 I,am 5 years survivor of OVC. Last two years all most non stop a lot of differens chemo. Often i wipe off my tears by TV, when no body can see it. Doctor told me when I feel down I need take ANXIETY peels. It is ALPRAZOLAM 0.25mg. They help me. When I feel down this peels stop me from going to much down. Ask your doctor about this peels. I hope they will help you too.Please forgive me my bad English. My russian is perfect :). Love you my teal sisters! Zina.

Cafewoman53's picture
Cafewoman53
Posts: 738
Joined: Jul 2010

I just have to tell you your English is very good. If we had to talk to you in Russian I don't think you would be able to understand a single word !
Colleen

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Zina: Wow, your english is god. Five years in an accomplishment. Did you have any returns of the cancer in the 5 years? I will ask about that medication.

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