Sep 29, 2012 - 11:19 pm
I thought it would be just another routine appointment for the PS to take yet another look at my taking-forever-to-close wound. Not so. She removes a 'plug' which turns out to be exposed alloderm; leaving a hole where not only can I see the implant, but can actually touch it.
This, I think, is not going to end well. Not well at all. Sure enough, the next thing I'm being asked is when I ate last. That can never be a good question. Then I hear my implant is again contaminated and now must be removed. Without a replacement. Just removed. Explanted, to be exact.
The only reason I could bring myself to agree with the mastectomy in the first place was because I had immediate-delayed reconstruction. (expander was placed at the same time as mastectomy) I could not imagine waking up from the mastecomy otherwise. I just couldn't. Somehow, it just made having breast cancer not so very bad as much.
I was absolutely devastated to hear my implant had to be removed right then and there. I mean I was there for a simple routine visit. I was moved to the procedure room where I waited for things to be readied. The consent forms were presented and I really could not bring myself to sign them.
I asked if the reason this implant could not be replaced was due to the failure of my skin to heal and couldn't the edges of the wound be excised and then closed. Or something like that. Apparently, this is called debridement...
I might get lucky and the wound may finally close. But more likely the implant will totally fail and will have to be removed. Leaving me with nothing there at all.
I'm so not liking having to face this fact. I truly do not think I want to live with how this will make me feel and how it will look.