I am new here and why I waited so long is beyond me.
My mother is 61 and was diagnosed with stage 4 neck and throat cancer in January of 2011.
She has always been healthy and never drank or smoked(unlike me). She refused treatment as she and my dad have always believed in natural remadies for everything.
The prognosis at the time was bleak to say the best and that was if she did undergo radiation and chemo followed by surgery.
She turned to THC for pain relief and for 16 months it seemed to help, or at least slow it down a bit.
Like I said she was never a smoker and she finally decided to quit the THC because she just did not like it.
So in May of this year she got sick, a common cold, she did not tell me and even tho I spoke with her several times a day she never let on she was feeling bad. I went to her house to visit her and she was raging a fever 103 and it had been spiking that way for at least two days. I took her straight to the ER. The Dr did some scans and found that the tumors had grown and spread quite a bit. He got her stablized and on antibiotics and that was when she started to wake up to what her body was really doing.
The Dr recommended an oncologist that he felt my mother would like and we made an appointment.
Very long story made very short she started radiation and chemo in August. She has been in the hospital more that out. Infections with PEG tube, Vomiting and cannot keep anything down.
As I write this she has been in the hospital for a week this time.
Current situation: No formula intake that will stay down, they have her on 20 ml of 1.5 Osmolite and IV fluids. But after a few min she starts vomiting and they have to stop. She has not had a BM in 10 days and all xrays and scans show nothing in her intestine. She has lost 12lbs in 8 days.
Her Oncologist told us two weeks ago that she has made no survivor plan for my mother and today I saw the Dr in the hospital and asked why she had not been by to see my mother since she was admitted and she said because she saw no need.
My mother refuses to sign any livingwill because she sees that as a sign of giving up.
She has one more radiation treatment and one more Chemo treatment and the doctors have advised her to stop them as it is only compounding her situation but she is insisting on completing what she has started.
To make matters worse, my dad divorced her two weeks before treatmentts began and moved away due to his beliefs. So her emotional state is shaken by that to say the least.
So my questions to you folks are as follows.....
How long can she live in her current state? So little nutrition and constant vomiting.
She is on Fentnal patch for pain with oxycotin added for pain. Phenagran for vomiting and Adavan for emotional stablity. She has NEVER in her life had so many meds.
And if she is going to die from all this how will it happen? Starving? That seems so cruel and painful.
At this time I am the only one here for her all my brothers live thousands of miles away. No one will tell me what I need to do to help her! UGH I am so tired and she is too.
Tonight is the first night I have been home without her here and I cannot sleep, I keep calling the hospital.
Thank you in advance for reading my first post. I promise my next will not be this long.
And any misspelled words are due to the late hour or the day.