Sep 25, 2012 - 10:51 am
I had two Core Biopsy's done last Thurs. Now waiting for the results. I am drawn to this site trying to find out as much information as possible. It has given me a new appreciation for what cancer patients go through. Although in the back of my mind I knew a lot about the types of treatments, but unless you are going through it yourself or with someone close to you, it is "Out of site, out of mind".
It's not out of my mind right now, and after reading all these incredible stories of how strong this community is, and what each and every one of you have been through, I will never forget it.
Anyone else feeling this way? Confused as to know if I am now going to go down this path myself. Scared. I have told my husband and no one else. I have always thought I would never tell anyone other than him, and of course, my kids if they are living at home. The plan has always been, no one else. ...Right now I am thinking how could that ever be possible. How could I sneak this by my friends and close family. I'm sure readers right now are thinking, why would I keep it to myself. I can't truthfully answer that. I feel I am going to want to crawl in a hole and keep all this a secret. Maybe I want to pretend this is not happening to me. ...And it will go away:) ...Wishfull thinking, I know.
I'm not working at the moment which is helpfull in one way, but too much time on my hands to think the worst. If the results come back positive, there is so many decisions to make, and sounds like no one correct answer. hopefully I'm wrong, but it sounds like one big guessing game (not to be disrespectful) but every Dr. picks a different round of treatment. ...And I know that there are many different forms and stages, but my body and more importantly, my life is in their hands.
Sorry, I am venting, sad, scared and confussed on many levels. It would be nice to know if others are reading this, going through the same feelings, waiting for their results. Not knowing, not wanting to do anything, at a time when I should be treasuring every moment I have to accomplish unfinished tasks! If I do start treatment, it may be a while before I feel as healthy as I do right now!