Sep 20, 2012 - 6:42 pm
3 years ago I underwent treatment for breast cancer. After I started treatment, my husband of 13 years told me he didn't want to be married anymore. I should mention, I also have Multiple Sclerosis and Diabetes. When I asked if he would come to chemo treatment with me, he told me he didn't have time for that. He stopped talking to me, moved out of our bedroom. He didn't touch or kiss me for almost two years. He even drew up divorce papers and left them on our bed. I wasn't strong enough to move on. I loss all of my hair and my dignity. Even though our marriage was far from perfect, I never saw it coming. We tried counseling, where he declared he never wanted to be married. But as I got better, he decided he wanted to stay married, because he didn't want to lose the house or the boys. However, the damage was done. And, though he never said why, or sorry, we began trying to repair our relationship. But, for as much as I once loved him, I haven't been able to come to grips with the fact that he bailed on me when I needed him the most. He didn't love me enough as a wife, the mother of his children, or a friend. June 2012, I took my children and I left. They have asked me why I won't go back. It's so much deeper than we just don't get along. He broke one of the most important marriage vows "in sickness and in health". And, I have proof that he's been unfaithful. Though he says he's sorry now, and that he'll never do it again, I find no comfort in those words. I'm afraid I'll die from the mental and emotional stress of fighting for someone who clearly didn't love me enough to take care of me at the lowest point of my life. I chose to move and not fight for the house, but I don't want them to think I'm the real cause. The cancer and MS are in remission. Do I tell my children about him? And, if so, how? Or do I continue to protect them from the ugly truth. Lastly, if he was afraid of losing me to cancer. Shouldn't his love for me be greater than his fear. My brain is soooo tired of thinking about it.