Sep 18, 2012 - 11:10 pm
Hi everyone. My mom has colon cancer and was diagnosed last month. I'm her 18 year old son (I don't know if anyone remembers because I haven't posted recently).
Well after waiting about a month, my mom is finally getting treatment with chemotherapy at Memorial Sloan Kettering hospital in NYC. She is apparently on Folfox and her second treatment was today. Her first treatment she said everything went alright, but she didn't take some of the pills the doctor gave her and she had diarrhea a few days after chemo.
I am currently away at college while all of this is happening. I'm a freshman at a huge university about a half hour away. I wasn't that excited about coming to school in the first place, and when I found out my mom had cancer I was even less excited. Three weeks into this, I really hate it and I wish I was at home. I miss my old life. I miss my house, my dog, my friends, and when my mom wasn't sick. I just want to be alone and cry sometimes and it's so hard to be alone here. I also haven't really met anyone, and I don't even really care to either. I'm so depressed. My roommate was just talking badly about his mom and I wanted to punch him because he has no idea how much I wish I was never a jerk to my mom. It's just so hard being here away from my family, and no one really understands what i'm going through here.
Does anyone have any advice? I feel so guilty because my mom wants me to have fun here but I can't. I feel like I have been so fortunate in my life up until last month, and ever since then my life has been a downward spiral. Anything that ever seemed fun to me is not the same anyone. I am NOT suicidal or anything, but before my mom's diagnoses I feared death SO MUCH but now I really don't care if I live or die.
I guess I just need someone to help me feel better and give me advice. My mom most likely has a later stage colon cancer, although my parents aren't really openly discussing it with me. Also, has anyone had any problems with sciatica? My mom has developed lower back pain in the past three weeks and it's gotten so intense where she threw up one time (which was when she dropped me off at school. It was one of the worst days of my life because it was not how I envisioned my college move in day).
Please help me feel better! I want to hear positive things about people with late stages of colon cancer. I am too young for my mom to leave me