Sep 11, 2012 - 9:24 pm
I posted months ago about how my husband just doesn't 'get it'. From the day of my diagnosis, he never asks how I feel, never asks how follow up tests have gone. Basically, it feels like he doesn't care. Our communication is very minimal. We tried marriage counseling earlieer this year for a few months until he said he wouldn't go anymore. (He just didn't want to answer the counselor's repeated question...."do you love her?") I've read all about men and how they can't deal with things-but cancer isn't something I asked for, nor is it something I really feel like dealing with either.
So here I am 2 1/2 yrs out from diagnosis, just got a clean breast MRI result today (yeah!) and I was out looking at an apartment today. I told my husband both times I went to look at an apartment that I was looking for an apartment and tonight, I came home, we were in the house alone, and he never said one word to me. My thought is if he really wanted me to stay, he would say something. His no communication is telling me he either a)doesn't believe I'll leave or b)doesn't care.
My dilemma is my kids....18 and 15. We haven't told them anything about us separating. Now, they are smart kids and some would say they already know what's going on, but things have been like this between us for so long, I think my kids think it's 'normal'. Some marriages have verbal abuse, mine is the polar opposite-no talk at all.
How do I tell the kids I'm leaving? How do I get them to come with me? Thanks for any help!