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funnygurl
Posts: 17
Joined: Jul 2003

I just found out today my best friend has an "invasive ductile carcinoma" of the breast. The biopsy on the lymph node that looked suspicious is negative. The tumour is about the size of an almond. I have been dreading having to come here. I am a colorectal cancer survivor being tested for possible cancer in a lesion behind my knee. I also found out this month that another close friend has esophageal/liver cancer and has 2-5 months to live. Altogether this has not been an auspicious month. So my intention is to get educated about breast cancer and be as supportive as I can during her ordeal. I am thinking I will just buy a year long parking pass at the cancer hospital and hope next month is better.

New Flower
Posts: 4140
Joined: Aug 2009

Sorry for the difficult time and all disappointments you have been going through. This board has a lot of very knowledgeable and carring survivors. Just reading about everyone's journey gives a lot of wisdom and inspiration. Ask your friends to join as well.
I wish you and your friends the best and I hope your next months will be better.
Hugs
New Flower.

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

First Welcome and glad you're here.Many can help you.You sure have alot going on.You and 2 friends.I know what it's like.My sister just found out yesterday she is Stage 2 and next week she finds out if it spread.If it did she will be Stage 4. Her daughter had it 7 years ago, Me 3 years ago and our mother was dx at 21 in the 1940's.Lived to be 81.

I was dx with non invasive DCIS.Tumor was 1/2 centimeter.Very small.Your friend's is size of a almond.Pretty small but would depend on what the doctor suggests and what she decides.I was told up front since I was in a very early stage and non invasive to have a Lumpectomy.I had clear margins after my second surgery 3 weeks later.

My situation was easy but during my prep for the first lumpectomy another tumor was found.The first tumor found was cancer.The second was benign. My margin surgery done 3 weeks later I found a place just before that surgery.Told the doctor as I was being prepped.He checked and said we'll know more later after a biopsy.It was benign. 3 tumors removed in about 3 weeks removed.One cancer 2 benign. Starting getting benign tumors when I was 20 like my mom at 21.

No one wants cancer.It's very hard living with it. Although today people are living longer lives.

It's early for your friend but the doctor will tell her what he thinks is best but your friend makes the decision.My friend was dx 18 years ago with Stage 3 and 3 nodes involved.She's doing fine today.Only a couple scares in all that time.I Didn't feel good about her decision but it worked out. Thank Goodness we are close cause it may have been a problem with me being so adamant she have a masectomy. I was afraid she wouldn't make it but she's fine today.

Wishing Good news for you and your friends.Will pray and think about all of you and wish better news for your friend with the liver and esophagus cancer.It has to be hard for all of you.I have tears in my eyes now.Thinking of your situation,other Pink Sisters and my sister.It's so hard.

Lynn Smith

funnygurl
Posts: 17
Joined: Jul 2003

Thank you Lynn for your wisdom. We are very close but she will make all her decisions and i will back her. She was really there for me when I went through colorectal cancer. She is already not ok with the idea of radiation due to a brother who had radiation for head and neck cancer that resulted in a massive stroke. It is so rare that her brother is a case study in American oncology textbooks. This concerns me, but it is her decision. I will be going with her when she decides on treatment. I never say anything unless she insists and then I tell her honestly what I think and why. She respects my opinion and often will come over to my way of thinking in time. She lives far away from family. So my goal is to make her ordeal easier where I can.

funnygurl
Posts: 17
Joined: Jul 2003

Thank you Lynn for your wisdom. We are very close but she will make all her decisions and i will back her. She was really there for me when I went through colorectal cancer. She is already not ok with the idea of radiation due to a brother who had radiation for head and neck cancer that resulted in a massive stroke. It is so rare that her brother is a case study in American oncology textbooks. This concerns me, but it is her decision. I will be going with her when she decides on treatment. I never say anything unless she insists and then I tell her honestly what I think and why. She respects my opinion and often will come over to my way of thinking in time. She lives far away from family. So my goal is to make her ordeal easier where I can.

Lynne Logan's picture
Lynne Logan
Posts: 105
Joined: Jul 2011

You've been through so much but I can tell you one thing. When it comes to friends we should all be so fortunate to have a friend like you.
Good luck with your dx and I hope you have equally good support.

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

Having had cancer yourself, you know how important having support is, to the person going through it...just having a good friend like you will mean the world to her....people always ask "what can I do?" most women respond oh nothing..women have a hard time asking for help won't and won't ask ...so, just do! Pick up groceries, clean her house, if she has children offer to take them for pizza or whatever so she can nap, etc.......take meals....and so on...go to treatment with her....you know the drill....

But please don't try to tell her what do ....or have her "come around to your way of thinking" as you said....yes, cancer is cancer but your cancer and treatment is going to be very different from hers. ......she needs to listen and and do what her physicians feel is right for her treatment...you're a great friend to her and she's sooooo lucky to have someone like you who is at the ready to help .....many friends tend to disappear when one is diagnosed with cancer as if we're contagious! But those of us who have cancer get it and are more than willing to help....

I wish you BOTH better days....
Hugs, Nancy

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