Sep 02, 2012 - 11:16 pm
I just lost my dad to pancreatic cancer and i have never been so angry and upset in my life. He fought so hard and when the end came it came so fast. The one week in hospice he was so upset and ready to go and in pain i wanted him to go. I kept telling god to have mercy dont make him suffer anymore. And he passed holding my hand im so happy i was able to be with him , i didnt even cry i was happy he wasnt in pain. I jsut had the funeral and was hysterical. I keep asking him to please come back. I regret telling him it was ok to go. I want him back sobad and i feel like no one understands that. MY husband doesnt really know how to be supportive he gets so upset that im upset because im pregnant. Im grieving who gives a damn im pregnant. I just want my daddy. I wanted to jump in the ground with him. I keep saying i want him back and my husband is like but thats not going to happen. But im allowed to feel that why doesnt he understand me? I have never felt so alone in my life.