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Hospice Called In

here4lfe
Posts: 294
Joined: Jan 2010

My wife's three battle is coming to and end. She fought so hard to live life her way, and I am content and happy that I was able to help her do it. There is no more chemo. There is no more surgery, no more radiation, no more healthy eating, no more. Just the family, love, and helping her as she helped so many others in her life.

She summed up her life very neatly, "I talk to people. That's all I do"

I've been bombarded with the "You're not giving up are you?" question. And the CTCA's commercial runs 10 times per day here, so everyone asks did you try? No we didn't give up over 3 years of continuous treatment, tried so new protocols, and at the end her CEA was 37000.

I will be posting on the caregiviber site for now on.

So Worried
Posts: 111
Joined: Aug 2012

Blessings for your family. I am so sorry that treatment is not helping your beautiful wife anymore. Prayers coming your way.

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

I fully can understand and every time this happens I get so angry at this horrible cancer. I pray your wife stays as comfortable as possible. Jeff

abackhou
Posts: 77
Joined: Jan 2012

I am really sorry that you both have come to this point in your wife's journey. You have not given up at all, you both appear to have made the most of your time together and that to me is surely very special without the awful effects of chemo. I too am in hospice care, comfortable and still getting on with life with my loved ones. My very best wishes to you both, be at peace with yourselves.

Andrew

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2764
Joined: May 2009

IF only miracles happened on call. So sorry.

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

I'm so sorry to hear that she's reached the proverbial point of no return. I will say prayers for both of you. God bless you for being there for her during her battle.

peterz54's picture
peterz54
Posts: 229
Joined: Feb 2012

I am sorry for you both and hope she, an you, and your family find peace...

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 857
Joined: Mar 2011

I am so saddened by this. I will be praying for you and your family.
Judy

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2900
Joined: Jan 2010

So very sorry that her time grows short. You have both been warriors in the fight.

Please know we pray for all of you who love her.

May she have peaceful and pain free days with you.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Thank you for the update. It is always hard to here of members becoming more unwell and reaching the point where treatment is no longer the right option but it is great to hear you talk openly of the acceptance you have reached in your current situation. It shows how healthy and supportive you are as a cre giver to know when the right time to shift the focus is- now focus on some quality time together in what ever form you can get it.

You are both in my thoughts,
steve

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

you and your name very well.all we can do is fight this fight the best we can one day at a time and hope that we can touch someones life along the way.best to you and your family...Godbless...johnnybegood

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

Give her a smile and a hug from all of us here.
you have been an amazing husband.
big hugs,
Pete

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1267
Joined: Nov 2001

There are some things in life that we have no other option than to accept. This is one we all face,hugs to you both ,Ron.

Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 439
Joined: May 2012

I know what you mean about the cancer commercials, they are on every 5 minutes. I also think people outside the household don't understand what she's been through. Best wishes to both of you, she has been lucky to have you. I think my husband as a caregiver to me has been through as much as me.
Sandy

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 529
Joined: May 2011

Thank you so much for sharing this difficult news. You are an amazing caregiver! Both of you are in my heart and prayer . I wish for all of us the strength, courage, and acceptance that you both have lived.

Hugs,
Cathleen Mary

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2047
Joined: Oct 2009

It is truly difficult to be the caregiver. I have been doing so for more than 3 years now so I truly understand the questions a caregiver is asked. Did you do this, did you do that, did you go here or there. At first they make you question youself if you have done everything. I know I am at peace knowing I have and continue to do so and I want you to feel the same, total peace, with the decisions you have made. Some things are totally out of our hands. God has a plan, I just wish sometimes I knew or undersood the plan.

At this time in you lives may you and your wife be surrounded with peace and love.

Sincerely - Tina

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 4207
Joined: Feb 2009

I'm sorry to hear that. Your wife is lucky to have you by her side. Wishing for the peace for all of you during this time. My prayers are with you all.

Kim

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4266
Joined: Jun 2009

We know that you didn't mail it in:)

Being able to walk along the path of acceptance is a question I've wrestled with many times - I guess we never know which road we will take until we get to that fork in the road.

The way that you are handling things is very admirable and a lesson for all of us on how to find grace when we find ourselves embarking down a new trail.

It sure looks like you have the right recipe for how you both want to spend your time together - that's wonderful.

I hope that you will consider stopping by from time to time - as a colorectal caregiver, this is invaluable experience and could touch another life down the road, at another fork in the road.

I wish you both the very best.

-Craig

Vickilg's picture
Vickilg
Posts: 281
Joined: Jan 2011

Sending you and your wife and family much love and prayers. I am sorry this is happening. We all know everyone did the best they could. God has his plans and even though we cannot understand them. Again, I am so sorry.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 250
Joined: Sep 2011

and strength to you and your wife. Take care.

Ellen

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Family.
Will pray for all of you.
(((hugs))

danker
Posts: 731
Joined: Apr 2012

Sorry to hear your sad news. My wife has Alzheimers, so I too am a caregiver with little hope.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2184
Joined: Oct 2011

and patience to deal with foolish folk who don't have any understanding of the cancer experience. Those of us who walk this path with you and your wife understand that there comes a time when letting a weary warrior rest is the right thing to do. I hope your dear wife will be lifted up in the final steps of this journey by the love and peace her loved ones can provide. Ann Alexandria

Brenda Bricco's picture
Brenda Bricco
Posts: 549
Joined: Aug 2011

I am so sorry to hear that she is near her end but I am happy to hear confidence in your post about the place you are at. No one knows what is right for soemone else and to have things like "your not giving up, are you?" is not what needs to be said. I some times feel that my role in all of this is down played because I am not the patient. My husbands battle has brought me to my knees, broken me to the point that every waking moment hurts and makes me feel alone in this world. Again, I am so sorry, your wife is blessed to have you.
GOD bless you.
Brenda

dianelynn41's picture
dianelynn41
Posts: 71
Joined: Jan 2011

Prayers for you all.

Diane & Roby

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

Your pictures speaks a thousand words of a happy couple, and it looks like it was taken in the Spring of last year....so much can change so fast.
If I could give you anything across the computer it would be peace and a sense of relief from all the TRYING. You did your very best. Now it's time to Be...to Be Together.
You are always welcome on this site as you have a lot to offer...never forget that.
With sincerest condolences and a hug,
Your Friend in California,
Tommycat

Maxiecat's picture
Maxiecat
Posts: 524
Joined: Jul 2012

I will keeep both of you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you both can find peace and acceptance in this next part of her journey. Spend as much time as possible together and just love eachother - time is so very precious.

Alex

here4lfe
Posts: 294
Joined: Jan 2010

My wife is not the computer type, but she knows some of the stories from this forum. I want to thank you all for sharing your journey, it has been a great help to us through all of this.

Best to you.

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 248
Joined: Apr 2012

Just saying I am so sorry, I had never even heard of a CEA so high. Take care i hope you can find comfort in the life you have shared.
xoxoxo

pluckey's picture
pluckey
Posts: 470
Joined: Jul 2009

Prayers lifted for you and your wife. It is so hard to hear the words, to know the end is near. Thank you for the dignity and caring you bestowed on your wife through her journey and showing the world how it's done

PEggy

ketziah35
Posts: 1143
Joined: Jun 2010

I am so sorry, May God keep you and your wife in her journey.

Ketz

Luckygirl2
Posts: 308
Joined: Mar 2012

I don't know what else to say, another hard fought battle. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

k44454445's picture
k44454445
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

i will be praying for both of you to have strength & peace. may God bless both of you as you have fought a good fight. i am so sorry.
judy

fatbob2010's picture
fatbob2010
Posts: 372
Joined: May 2012

Thanks you for the news...for me it is hard to read when one of the members reaches a point where there are no more options. I have read your posts for some time and you are obviously a great and dedicated caregiver; please ignore the nay sayers. As for the adds...we have them here too...not sure it is an option for everyone,

((HUGS)) and prayers for a peaceful and pain free time for you and your lovely wife.

Art

MrsJP
Posts: 156
Joined: Jan 2011

I am so very sad that your family is going threw this difficult time but am glad that you have each other.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sending a HUGE cyber hug.
jp

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 188
Joined: Jul 2010

My heart goes out to you. God bless! I am so sorry!

joemetz's picture
joemetz
Posts: 493
Joined: Nov 2011

I read your post last night, and thought about you and prayed for you last night, during the night and this morning.

I pray for strength for you and your family.
I pray for God's Grace to shine down on your wife and to shine eternal happiness to her.

thank you for sharing and our prayers go out to you.

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4665
Joined: May 2005

I hope your wife is kept comfortable.
She's been lucky to have such a thoughtful caring husband...
-phil

smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

This news saddens me, this is such a horrible disease. God bless your family with strength through this time. Keep in touch.

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 541
Joined: Mar 2010

Enjoy your remaining time together.

JayhawkDan's picture
JayhawkDan
Posts: 206
Joined: Apr 2012

May the Lord be with you, and give you and your wife peace, and comfort. You're in my prayers. Dan

Kenny H.'s picture
Kenny H.
Posts: 503
Joined: Aug 2010

Sorry to read of this.
Will pray for her and all of the family. What is her name?

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

as your wife, you, and your family begin the next stage of this journey. I see in your smile a loving man and I have read the gentle and devoted way that you have described caring for her. I am also a caregiver and my husband has stage four cancer with mets to the liver and lungs. You have my greatest respect. The sadness that you must face is terrible, but I also wish you both moments of joy and peace. I wish your wife comfort. May your life be forever strengthened by the happier times you shared together.
Cynthia

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 421
Joined: Apr 2012

I really like your ID -- here4life. That is what we are all trying to do -- live life as best we can. And I think hospice is also about living life the best we can, pain free, and LOVE filled.

Too many times cancer patients have to make tough decisions and have to go through hell in order to "live life". I pray that someday there is a definitive cure for this ugly disease.

I wish you LOVE LOVE LOVE, for your wife, and you, and your family, and ALL the people your wife has talked to over her years. I also wish you Peace and Tranquility as well.

God Bless you both!

Phil

Minnesotagirl
Posts: 141
Joined: Sep 2011

I just wanted to say I am so sorry. You're courage during this battle has been commendable. May peace come to both of you and may the Lord above hold you in his hands forever.

"Minnesotagirl"

Wenchie
Posts: 88
Joined: Apr 2009

Bless you and you're are definitely in my thoughts. We'll all be there eventually with your wife and I know that it will be a better life. xoxox

jomar
Posts: 11
Joined: May 2011

Thanks for all your posts....peace and love

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3389
Joined: Apr 2010

It's so hard to know what to say. May your remaining time together be peaceful and may she not suffer any pain, and may she be able to talk up a storm to all that love her. My heart goes out to you both, both of you fought long and hard for her life, you have done all you could,
I quite imagine you both holding hands and whispering love words to each other, enjoying the moments as they come. May strength be with you in the time to come.
Winter Marie

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5001
Joined: Feb 2008

I'm so sorry it got to this point, and I pray for peace for both of you.

*hugs*
Gail

SharonVegas's picture
SharonVegas
Posts: 189
Joined: Feb 2012

Thank you for sharing. May peace be with you and your wife. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
SharonVegas

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1232
Joined: Oct 2010

Hugs, comfort, peace and way to go....for giving your all to "fight the fight" your way. May your days be filled with love, comfort, smiles and wonderful memories!

Gail

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