Aug 10, 2012 - 9:49 pm
My mother was initially diagnosed with stage 4 cancer on October 2010. We first noticed a large lump under her jaw area, but being that she was recently hired her medical insurance had not yet been effective and had to postpone going to the doctor. After 5 months of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation she came out a champ. Within two months her hair started to grow back, she was putting back on some of the weight she lost looking healthier, and she was back to her energetic self. In January of this year she noticed yet another lump on the opposite side of her throat, but wanted to delay any necessary surgery until after my brother's surgery. They performed a biopsy and found that it was a cancerous tumor. They advised her that although there was not another growth in that area she should start doing treatment to control the area. My mother being extremely stubborn wanted to wait until her planned country to country trip with my aunts to begin any treatment. Once she returned and the doctors performed another scan they found another tumor that had grown (she would not tell me how big). She was initially was supposed to only do chemotherapy for once a week for 14 weeks, but they have included radiation treatment for 4 weeks, then some more chemotherapy sessions for 5-7 weeks. I'm angry,sad, annoyed, and just feel broken...I can net imagine my life without my mother. She raised me to be the woman I am today and she has struggled for me brother and I so we can live comfortably. I try not to think about her having cancer at all and block it out of my mind completely, but there are some days I want to just smash things, scream, and curl up in a ball and just cry for hours. I know that I can't because I have to be strong for her just as she is being strong for my brother and I, but it is so hard and it upsets me that there's nothing I can do to get rid of it or just take it out of her and put it in me....