Jul 24, 2012 - 11:26 pm
Just posting a vent today....I'm sad....
My whole life has changed since March. In the beginning I was strong...believing 18 weeks of chemo, I can do it!!!I work every morning and see my own patients. Then every afternoon I try to sleep or at least rest. I've changed my diet and eating habits. I have chickens now so that they will eventually lay eggs that I can eat knowing they have no hormones or antibiotics in them. I have a fantastic family, friends, and co-workers who support me everyday. All of them would do anything for me. My husband has been so wonderful. My youngest daughter has been visiting for a month and it has been great to have her home.I live in a wonderful home, I have great job, and I have the best family and friends in the world. I am truly blessed.
But I'm sad....I'm sad I have cancer, I'm sad it kills my good cells and it makes me weak and overwhelmed. This cancer made me cancel my vacation this year. I'm sad I'm not in Italy this week sitting on the beach. My daughter returns to Denmark Thursday and I'm sad because it will be a while before I see her again. My third daughter is also going to Denmark Thursday. She has decided to go to bakery school over there. I'm glad for her getting such a great opportunity....but I'm sad because I miss her too all ready.I'm sad that everyday when I get ready for work, I cry because I have to wear a wig or a scarf because this cancer took my hair.
I feel weak being sad....I know getting blood tomorrow can boost my energy and over all my moral. I know when I feel better, I'll feel strong again and say I can do this. But I also know this cancer will beat me down again and I'll have to deal with ...sad.... again.I don't like the sad that cancer has brought to my life.
Thanks for listening! Kim