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Lost husband June 28

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

20 months after being diagnosed with EC, my husband, Bernardo Hutton, Sr. lost the war. He had surgery on 11/15/10 to remove the tumor at the GE Junction. The doctors also removed 5 inches of his esophagus and 30% of his stomach. He had chemo and radiation following the McDonald Regimen beginning in January of 2011 and completing April 29, 2011. He went back to work 7/5/11 and was slowly getting better. He was regaining his weight and starting to do the things he loved again. Then in March of 2012, he started having pains in his back, which he attributed to working out. In April of 2012, he thought he had pulled a muscle and was slowly unable to move his right arm. Then, on April 27, 2012, he was admitted to the hospital for what they thought was a blood clot but turned out that the cancer had metasticized to his right axilla. He did 10 rounds of radiation in hopes of shrinking the tumor and he was discharged from the hospital on May 30, 2012. He was on a lot of medication to help relieve the pain (Fentanyl patch, Neurontin, Decadron and Morphine Sulphate) because surgery was not an option, as the tumor was encased around the nerves. He did have stents places in his veins and arteries to keep the blood flow going in his right arm but other than that, the arm was usless.

On June 5, 2012, the oncologist told him that since the cancer spread, it was stage 4 and terminal. His life span was now in terms of months and not years. He was adamant about fighting this disease until the very end and we were in the process of getting him appointments at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota as well as UCSF Comprehensive Cancer Center in San Francisco. He didn't live long enough to get to the appointments. He went down hill pretty fast and we're not sure why. His sisters' seem to think the Fentanyl patch had a lot to do with it but we don't know for sure. It was heartbreaking to watch him go from 6' 4" and 250lbs. in 2010 to probably less than 150lbs. when he died. He was in so much pain but he said he would win this battle as well. He had the mindset that he would win the war but it was not to be.

It was horrific watching him die slowly but we know he is at peace now. We asked people to donate to ACS in his name so that more research may be done to find a cure for this disease so that one day, EC will just be a bad memory.

stephikindred's picture
stephikindred
Posts: 153
Joined: Mar 2012

I want to extend my condolences to you and your family for the loss of Bernardo. Thank you for sharing your heart-wrenching story and for asking for donations in his name for research. June was a tough month for us on this board as we lost many to the beast and each loss brings pain to us all.
Stephanie

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I appreciate your support. I will continue to do what I can monetarily to help find a cure for EC. It is truly a horrible beast and I look forward to the day when the beast is no more. All of us on this board will rejoice when that happens.

poosmom
Posts: 7
Joined: Jul 2012

I'm so sorry. I know from reading your other post he had the arm problem that my daughter has. My sister passed away in March and being with her was very hard. One of the nurses told me it was an honor to be with someone when they die. I like to think that maybe there's some truth in that. My thoughts are with you and your family.

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

First, I want to thank you for your support. I was glad to be with him when he died but I do know that some people aren't able to handle that and that's ok. Either way, the love isn't diminished, in my opinion.

Second, I haven't logged on in a while but I do hope your daughter is doing better. Please forgive me for not being up to date. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours as well.

paul61's picture
paul61
Posts: 1104
Joined: Apr 2010

I am so sorry that your husband has passed on. I remember your post when the tumor was first found in his arm. It seems like such a short time ago. You are very kind to think of donations to help the people who are still fighting this disease in your time of grief.

With my condolences,

Paul Adams
Grand Blanc, Michigan

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I appreciate your support. Yes, the time was very quick and while I wish we had more time, I'm glad he's not in pain anymore. I'll do whatever I can to help those still in the fight. It will be a great day, indeed, when EC is gone for good. Thanks again for your support.

TerryV's picture
TerryV
Posts: 915
Joined: Jul 2011

What an incredible attitude your husband had! Bless him for his willingness to fight the battle all the way through. If only positive thinking were all it took, we would all be richer, wouldn't we?

Bless you for continuing the research so others may not have to suffer the same heartbreak and loss. I know (all too well) there are no words to comfort you. Please know that we are here for you though if we can help.....

Terry
PROUD wife to Nick, age 49
adinocarcinoma T3N1M0 05/19/11
26 rads & 2 weeks inpatient Cisplatin & 5FU
THE 09/08/11
NED until 05/11/12
EC spread to brain (3 tumors with a mist of mini tumors across the brain) with Leptomenengial disease
lost battle to FEC 06/19/12

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

Bernardo was a true fighter. I'm still running in to people who didn't know he died but once they find out, they always say he was a fighter who took this battle head on with a smile on his face. Thank you for your support and I will continue to do what I can to help fight EC so that no other families have to go through what you, I and everyone on this board has gone through. Peace and blessings be with you and yours always.

JReed's picture
JReed
Posts: 463
Joined: Nov 2011

I am so sorry to read of Bernardo's battle with EC. When I read of a family who has lost their loved one to this God awful battle, I cannot help but think of the warrior who fought and hope that someday, somehow God will allow them to know that because of their battle - another warrior will win the battle.

May God surround you each with comfort, peace and strength and may you hold your memories close to your heart in the coming days and weeks.

Peace be with,
Judy

oriontj
Posts: 390
Joined: Jul 2009

This is such an incidious cancer and the victums are such fighters. My heart breaks a little more every time I hear another has passed. My prayers are lifted for you and your family

jan

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I appreciate your prayers and support. You are right, EC is a monster and your heart does break when you hear of someone else losing a loved one to this monster but I will do what I can to help get rid of EC. It will be a great day when no one else has to suffer the loss of a loved one to this beast.

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I thank you so much for your prayers and support. I know God is holding all of us in the palm of His hand and that everything works out for His divine plan. I'm just not sure why we all have to go through this heartache of dealing with EC. It'll be crystal clear one day but until then, I'll do what I can to help defeat EC.

mmr19
Posts: 88
Joined: Feb 2010

So very sorry for your heartache and loss.
Bernardo was a brave man who put up a good fight.
My deepest sympathies to you and your family. May you find comfort in your memories of better times.

Marta

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I appreciate your sympathy and support. He truly fought the good fight, he kept the faith, he finished the race. One day, EC will be no more but until then, we have to do what we can to comfort one another and find a cure. Peace and blessings be with you and yours always.

sandy1943's picture
sandy1943
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2010

So sorry Your husband has lost the battle. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Someday soon I hope we hear that the beast hasn't got a chance of claiming another life.
Sandra

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I'm just logging back in after many months and I just wanted to thank you for your support, thoughts and prayers. It will be a great day when EC has claimed ZERO victims. I hope I'm here to see it but if not, I hope those who benefit from not having to watch their loved on succumb to EC will be truly grateful.

mrsbotch
Posts: 377
Joined: Oct 2010

Your husband was a HERO. All of our men and women who have this vile cancer are Heros.
I lost my angel on Feb 23, 2011 after a 2 year battle and I still see and feel all ther pain we went thru.

I am on 2 different sites that have helped me. One is called the Dawns and the other is the Esophageal cancer education foundation led up by a man named Bart.

If you would like to join either of these please contact me at 706-897-4056 and I will get you in touch with the proper people. You need to be invited by a member to join the dawns.

Once again I am so very sorry for your loss

Barbara

Donna70's picture
Donna70
Posts: 920
Joined: Aug 2009

So sorry to hear of your loss and what a battle your husband fought. It saddens me to hear about end stage patients having so much pain. Personally, I do not think the Fentanyl patch did anything but try to alleviate the terrible pain that he was suffering from. I am no medical expert but you want to do your best that the patient doesn't suffer and he was such a fighter. Hope that soon you will remember the good times and not this last part of a life well lived. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Donna70

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I appreciate your support. I am focusing on the good times and keeping a smile on my face. When I hear a song on the radio or go places where we used to go, I smile because I know he's always with me. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. Maybe one day soon, we'll see a time when EC is just a distant memory.

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

Thank you, Barbara, for your support. I know I haven't logged on in forever but I will keep your number in case I want to joing Dawns.

I know our angels are by our sides, even though we cannot physically see or touch them anymore. We will meet again where EC has no hold on anyone. Thanks again and peace be with you.

Lynn_Paul
Posts: 22
Joined: Sep 2011

Barbara
Is The Dawns a widow support group, and is it specific to esophageal cancer victims spouses?
Lynn

mardigras's picture
mardigras
Posts: 196
Joined: Sep 2011

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Bernardo was very special and a real trooper.
His bravery in the face of all that he suffered will be remembered and help all the others who are facing this dreadful disease.
May God comfort and care for you and make a special place for Bernardo. He deserves one.
Hugs and prayers
Marci

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

Thank you, Marci, for your support. I know Bernardo is in a better place and while we miss him a lot, I know his fight was not in vain. Maybe he will inspire others to fight harder or inspire someone who has the abilities to find a cure for EC. Peace and blessings be with you and all of us always.

Carol1018's picture
Carol1018
Posts: 6
Joined: Jul 2012

I was looking for information on pain meds and came upon your story,the date your husband passed caught my eye.. I was diagnosed with BC in Oct. 2011, I have finished with my chemo and radiation, 2 weeks after my diag My son and daughter in law told me they were expecting, it really lifted my spirits and got me thru my treatment knowing my first Grandchild was coming...He was born June 28th

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

First of all, I thank you for your condolences and I pray that you are doing well in your cancer fight. Secondly, congrats on your first grandchild. I tell myself that the best day in one person's life just may well be the worst day in another's but no matter the circumstances, life will move forward. Who knows, maybe your grandchild will be the one to find a cure for all cancers. :) Thanks again for your support and enjoy your grandchild.

jaycc
Posts: 130
Joined: Jul 2012

Thank you for sharing your very difficult story, my husband also battled EC, in his words "I will not leave the battlefield". My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Similar, once the cancer got ahead things got worse quickly, and life seemed to move at the rate of 10 years/week and not enough knowledge in the medical world to know how to stop it.
You are both a very brave couple. I will share a few things phrases that other women have shared with me during this time.The body is just a container, love goes so far beyond it. "Don't be to hard on yourself, take breaks when you need them and a few extras".
Hang in there, and again thank you for sharing, joining you too on the battle to change the way EC is handled.

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

I know it's been a while since I even logged in but I just wanted to thank you. EC is a beast but hopefully, one day it will be tamed. I'm keeping a positive outlook and a smile on my face even when tears are streaming down my cheeks.

Lynn_Paul
Posts: 22
Joined: Sep 2011

This is a vicious cancer that takes so many incredibly strong people. Esophageal cancer at diagnosis is so hard. If you are able to have the surgery, you have a chance. If seems if you have the surgery and treatments and it comes back, it is often unstoppable. This has happened to so many over the last year on this site. I sign on occasionally hoping to see someone having success. Hopefully things will change in the near future and people will consistently beat this nasty, brutal cancer.
Lynn

HuttonFam
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2012

It truly is a vicious cancer and I will continue to sign on occasionally to see if someone has had success. It will be great to hear that someone has been able to overcome this monster.

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