Jun 28, 2012 - 11:05 am
I don't know why I am here. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to help my mom, my family, or myself.
My mom was diagnosed in October of 2011 with SMLC extensive. She had gone in thinking it was her liver and it was, but it turned out to be lung cancer that had spread to liver, spine, hip, femur, nodes. Chemo started, radiation followed, and she responded very well. She went a couple months and then had to have her scans redone. Yesterday was RESULT day. This was the update:
***No other way to say this other than...My doctors visit did not go well. The cancer is already back in my lung, spine and liver. She is going to try a course of oral chemo this time but the progrnosis even with the treatment is only about 8 months. At first we did not know if I would be able to do the oral because I have to take it for 5 days, off 2 weeks and then 5 days again 6 times. The medication for each 1 week is 8000.00. The insurance company just called and said as soon as they get a preauthorization from my doctor they will cover it. YEAH!!! Those of you who know what I have been through know I will not give up but I don't know who much I can take. I am having more syptoms this time but if the chemo works as fast as last time hope for feeling better in a week or so. Thanks for your continued prayers. Please do not feel offended if CHuck answers my phone if you call. I have been really tired and sleeping a lot.***
Mom said after these pills she will not be trying any more forms of therapy.
As I said, I don't know what to do. I am a cross between a 5 year old and my 40 year old self. I am mad and I am scared that in a very relatively short time I won't be able to call my mom. Then I feel selfish because I am thinking of myself.
My mom lives in MI and I live in SC. I don't know whether to go now, go in August before school starts back up(which is my current plan), or what. I am trying to figure out if she was diagnosed in Oct of last year - it's been 8mths now.
People say pray. Well, God and I are still only on semi talking terms since my childhood. Can someone please tell me something besides pray?
I am a 40 year old mom of 5 and Nana to almost 3. I am the type of person that works with non profit, I volunteer, I help my neighbors, I adopt soldiers, etc. I help others. I just don't know now.