Jun 27, 2012 - 3:01 am
Hi I signed up here when i first was diagnosed, but then havent had internet. I hate to ask for advice in my first post, but really feel so alone and unloved. I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer about 18 months ago. My husband has never been extremely loving and is an alcoholic. In fact right before I was diagnosed I was thinking about divorce. Well now that I am not working I cant afford to leave at all.He doesnt contribute a lot but enough to cover the bills, gotta have beer money. I try to just ignore how unloving he is, but the other day at my oncologists office where I have been going for 18 months, the receptionist said she had to update my info and then asked so who is James and I said my husband and she says oh didnt know you were married, he just has never came to any of your appointments, huh? Well I felt about 2 inches high and wish I would have asked her if she was just trying to be mean, but I just said nope and sat down. Well I cant stop thinking about it. He has never been to one appt, one chemo day, it took him 4 days to come see me the last time I was hospitalized, never asks about my treatments. I know that he obviously doesnt love me. I just wonder why he stays and maybe I should just tell him to leave, but he wont I have asked him to. I do all the house chores with the help of my kids, even when I am ill. What would you all do? I dont know what I want I guess I just needed to vent thanks for letting me whine.