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feeling lost and not sure what's going to happen

jennal24
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2012

My mother has been fighting stage 4 breast cancer for the past 2 years with radiation and chemo but I just got the news that she has taken a turn for the worse. I am 27 years old and I have a 21 month old daughter of my own. I live in CA and my mom and dad and 3 baby sisters live in FL, so I am flying there this up coming week to help take care of my mom and support my sisters and dad. Right now my mom is in the hospital with a tube in her chest draining the fluid that has built up in her chest wall. They are transitioning her in the hospital with hospice care and then she will be getting hospice once she goes home. My sisters don't know that she is not going to make it yet and they are all teenagers. The youngest is 13 and she is going to be devastated. My mom is such a beautiful, giving, kind, and loving person. She has always put everyone else before herself and I know that what I am about to go do is going to be the most gut-wrenching, hardest, and saddest thing I will ever have to do. I am still just in the state of shock and I am feeling numb. I cry alot and am so scared to see my beautiful mother withering away. I know that when I do see her the way she is I am going to try and stay strong but will most likely break down. My mother is my rock and my best friend. I would probably go with her if it wasn't for my daughter. I just saw her in May and she was doing okay. She was walking around and we laughed alot together and she was still was eating well. My dad told me that when he went to visit her in the hospital yesterday she was not eating and has lost alot of weight since may. My dad said she looks like shes 80 years old and my mom is only 56 years young. I am so depressed and not sure where to go from here... Any support or help from you all would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading... Jenna

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grandmafay
Posts: 1614
Joined: Aug 2009

Just wanted to say that we are all here for you. This is a hard time and it is ok to be depressed. A friend of mine pointed out when my husband was facing his final days that it would be really sad if I wasn't depressed. You love your mom. It's sad that she is so sick. Just remember that no matter what happens, your love will endure. The memories you have made together will always be there. Take care and lots of hugs, Fay

jennal24
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2012

I will never forget the wonderful memories I have with my mom. She is so amazing and has been fighting for her life for 2 years and never once complained and still managed to smile each and everyday. I can't wait to just hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her and thank her for all she has taught me. I will put an update once I see her and my family because I know it will be very heavy once I get home. I will surely need lots of support and more words of encouragement. Thanks again for your kind words and thoughts.

tons of tears and many hugs, Jenna

Kalbers1
Posts: 7
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Jenna :)

my heart truly is sad for you and your family. Im starting to go through the same thing right now. I woke up this morning at 5:30am unable to sleep because I'm worrying about my mom. Im 35 and just had a baby boy almost 4 months ago. Im my moms only child and she was so excited to have her first grandchild and now shes too weak to really hold him. It breaks my heart. My sweet , sweet mom , who is 65 had breast cancer4 years ago and she was fine until a couple of months ago and now it's spread to her bones and she can hardly walk. She started have trouble breathing so she went to the hospital this last weekend and discovered that the cancer spread to her lungs. They put her on oxygen 24 hrs a day now. I feel for you and your family. I saw the pic of you and your mom, the sweet look on her face reminds me of my mom:) today is the first time I googled support and your comment was the first one I read. I wanted to share with you and your family what helps me and my mom cope. If something does happen to her, it's comforting to know that I will see her again. God promises us that we will see our loved ones again. So if my mom dies, it's like shes taking a nap and when she wakes up, we will continue where we left off. And she can play with her grandson again. She loves him soo much and waited all those years for me to have a baby. This is the only thing getting me through this, knowing i will see her again, because its a sad situation seeing our sweet mom fall apart due to the cancer. My heart goes out to you and your family. Im still in a state of shock right now and just taking 1day at a time. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Kristine

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