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GRR! BAD NEWS AND I AM A BASKET CASE!!

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

Hi ladies.

My needle biopsy from near my thyroid area came back suspicious for (whatever that medical term is for cancer). My doctor was shocked. He did say he was concerned about lymphoma, but it is not that. He is very stunned. He did another CA-125 today. The one I think it was last month was 12.8. Early May pet and ct scans were clean the abdominal area.

I have a stool sample ready to take back to the clinic. Tuesday a mamogram. He's also going to have some lymph node removals from my neck area, as he does not know what we are dealing with. He said it would be extremely rare for it to be ovarian, but as we know no one can predict this stupid disease.

Looks like more chemo is in my future. He did say that if it is thyroid cancer than they will remove it.

I NEVER feel as alone after my husband's death two years ago as when something like this happens.

I am SO scared. I do have a strong faith, but I am also human. So much for a complete remission. It lasted around 9 months.

Any words of advice? I can't stop crying. I won't give up, but I hate these emotions. I hate being so scared!

Thanks everyone,

Carla

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

On July 6 I will be seeing a surgeon about having an excisioinal biopsy of the neck node and a panendoscopy. I"m a wreck! Oh how I miss my husband now!! (I have no idea what these terms mean, I'm just copying from my schedule sheet they gave me today).

Carla

Cindy Bear
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2009

I wish I could say something that would take away the tears and fears. Hang in there. You're a strong, brave woman and your Dr. will figure out a plan. There's got to be something in that wizard's bag for you . Sending great big hugs and prayers your way.
Cindy

lovesanimals's picture
lovesanimals
Posts: 1264
Joined: Sep 2011

I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish you had your husband by your side too. It's okay to be scared - the emotions are all part of this journey. And then, when the time comes, you'll take a deep breath and then do what you need to do to kick cancer's butt. You can do it and we're here to support you in any way we can!

Hugs,
Kelly

mopar
Posts: 1950
Joined: May 2003

I'm so sorry for all that's being put in front of you. I will hold you up in prayer that you will find strength and peace in the days to come. This may all be endometriosis, as it can migrate throughout the body as well. Holding hope that all will be fine and easy to take take of.

Fear can grip you and take hold faster than we can blink. But one particular scripture that has always reminded me of His love, grace and peace is 'He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind'. Hold the good thoughts. . .

Love, Hugs, and Prayers,
Monika

AnneBehymer's picture
AnneBehymer
Posts: 739
Joined: Jul 2011

Amem sister :)

Love, Hugs, and Prayers
Anne

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. Just breaks my heart that so many are having a hard time right now. Have you considered talking to your doctor about an anti-depressant or tranq to help you cope?

I keep dipas on hand, which is a mild traq. It has come in handy a few times. I recently started taking cymballa, which is an anti-d. I have felt my seratonin levels decreasing a bit, and also found an article stating the a tial result presented at ASCO on cymballa benefiting neuropathy in cancer patients. So, low seratonin or not, I decided to try it.

Don't let youself believe the lie that you are alone. You are never alone!
kathleen❤

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

Kathleen,

I have been on an anti-depressant for over a year now. It helps greatly. I'm calmer today. Slept well once I was able to go to sleep last night. Still scared, but at least I'm calmer today...so far

Thanks everyone for your concern and encouragement.

Carla

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

Good to hear you are better today. Try to stop the fear enterint into you brain, before it takes over, an you spiral. The opposite or frear is o TRUST. Do what you can to cultivat trust, open the palms of your hands and after naming the fears visualizing givig them away. Take it one day at at time. You are a tough cookie and have made it this far, you can do it, and ask or lot's of help too. The support is there, you neee to ask for it.
Hang in there sister, we are here for you,
katheen

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

Kathleen,

I have been on an anti-depressant for over a year now. It helps greatly. I'm calmer today. Slept well once I was able to go to sleep last night. Still scared, but at least I'm calmer today...so far

Thanks everyone for your concern and encouragement.

Carla

Cafewoman53's picture
Cafewoman53
Posts: 735
Joined: Jul 2010

It is hard to not go to those dark places when presented with tests and info that are scary and unclear. This is a chronic disease and will pop up anytime and anywhere. Stay strong so when it appears you are ready to do whatever is neccesary to fight it again
I was recently hospitalized for a chronic back condition. extreme pain and unable to walk,then the Drs decided it might be mets to the spine because my symptoms did not match what showed up on the lower back mri. That sent my heart rate thru the roof! It turned out to be just my back thankfully. So I do understand your fears and I know you are strong enough to face whatever is ahead. And you are not alone we are here for you !
Colleen

lulu1010's picture
lulu1010
Posts: 367
Joined: Feb 2011

I only had a 9 month remission and I took the reoccurance harder than the origianl diagnosis. I know that fear and feeling of helplessness. I am so sorry you are in that spot. That said, it seems very possible you could still be in remission from the ovarian and possibly have thyroid cancer. I had a friend who had that 15 years ago and is fine now. It may be a hurdle but one you can manage. I will pray for good tests results and strength to get thru this also.

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

I would feel more like it is Thyroid cancer, if it weren't for the fact that three nodules lit up in my chest area, near the diaphram. This has been harder than the first it seems.

Thanks everyone for your encouragement!!

AnneBehymer's picture
AnneBehymer
Posts: 739
Joined: Jul 2011

I am going through the same thing my remission lasted only 3 months well they found it 5 months but my ca125 started going up after three months. I have a new tumor near my kidney it is ovarian cancer. My doctor said that if I got cancer anywhere else in my body it would more than likly ovarian cancer. I am still on days crying but that is good it get the feelings out not stuck inside. Just have faith and fight with all you have that is all we can do right now keep the faith that God has his hand over us and he know what path we are on. Trust in your doctors and fight with all you have. You are in my prayers every day and please allow yourself to cry it helps you work things out.

Much
Love, hugs, and prayers
Anne

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