Jun 18, 2012 - 5:04 am
I'm new to this site today after the realization that I have become pretty resentful and angry toward just about everything to deal with my personal life. My mother has Stage 4 metastic breast cancer and doesn't seem to be getting better no matter how many treatments she tries. I'm the oldest of 3 girls in my family and feel like all of the burden of my moms cancer has fallen on me. I even hate to use a word like burden and my mom in the same sentence that is how upset it makes me. I get angry with my sisters for not doing things as fast as I do (chores, requests) things like that or if they don't pick up the laundry or wash the dishes before they are overflowing. I feel like this is a lot of complaining but needed a healthy place to get out my feelings. I feel like no matter who I talk to no one ever understands.
I'm getting married in the fall and even talking to my future husband is hard. No one ever knows what to say besides they are sorry. Sorry doesn't really cut it for me anymore. I am terrified to move out with my husband after our wedding and leave my mother, step dad and 14 year old sister to fend for themselves. I hold so much of the house responsibilities on myself that I can't even picture them surviving with out me there. I am terrified that my young sister is going to see to much and that I won't be able to protect her from the ugliness that cancer brings to households, not to mention the fact how out of control she acts.
Any advice on this matter would be much appreciated, even just someone who has/going through what I am.