Jun 04, 2012 - 12:43 am
I am so lost.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia a few months ago. I don't have insurance, not much money at all. I have been married for over 20 years to a great guy. Only, I am now realizing that I overlooked a lot of things before, that I can't overlook now. I am pretty young, in my 40's.
He seems selfish, and unconcerned about the fact that I have cancer. I am SO afraid. He seems to worry more about what new toy he is going to get. He has just enrolled in college, so has student loans, only he feels like they are excuses to go out and buy things he has always wanted.
We have talked, and argued and talked and argued. He knows that stress is a huge factor that should be avoided when someone has cancer, but he does not care in the least if I am worried at all. He is not very nice to me, has a hard time being kind. I know I am not perfect, but I never imagined not having any support from him if I got really sick.
So what do I do now? I am lost and alone and confused and afraid. I wanted him to take care of me, to be there, to be solid. I wanted him to put his concerns aside and help me get well. But it looks as if that isn't going to be the case.
I cannot believe that this is my life :(