Jun 01, 2012 - 5:28 pm
My mother in law has stage four gallbladder cancer (spindle cell carcinoma) that was discovered after the removal of her gallbladder. Unfortunately it was discovered a few weeks after the gallbladder surgery and has spread deep into her abdomen. It was said to be inoperable.
She has multiple tumors - one very large one where her gallbladder was that has been steadily growing since the removal of her gallbladder two months ago. It is the size of a fist sticking out of her abdomen. Since very little is known about this type of cancer, they could only offer chemo as a possibility for remission. She gave up on chemo after two sessions as the side effects were devastating. We thought she was going to die that week.
Now she has been given three months to live. Hospice has been called in and family members are taking shifts to stay with her. However, I have to admit that she is doing fantastic considering. She has a small appetite, but is eating regularly. She does sleep a lot. But otherwise she seems really normal to me. I'm having a difficult time thinking of her as someone who has three months to live. Does anyone else feel this way?
I don't have any experience with cancer and I've never had anyone in my family die this way (slowly). I feel like life is on pause. My husband is staying with her for the next week and a half. We have a small son, so it is difficult to spend extended periods of time there as she needs her rest. I feel angry, upset... well, a million different emotions all at once. We thought we had all the time in the world and now this sudden and horrifying diagnosis.
I just feel so alone right now. I keep looking and looking for information - like somehow it will make me feel better. But it just leaves me more lost and confused. How do you get through something like this?