May 31, 2012 - 1:30 pm
Hola a todos... Been away for a while, the usual docs appt 2-3 times a wk for X-ray, blood test, MRI's, docs making me walk, scans.. Etc, etc, etc... Well, my diagnosis is Stage 1A Endocarcinoma w/ EGRF(something like that which I'm researching) I don't need chemo or radiation as of now, tnk God for some good news. But now I'm being monitored closely b/c of the three spots I have on my right lung, which r so small that my surgeon WILL NOT remove at this time. He said " this may not even b cancer, u r getting way ahead of ur self Marcia" I responded... "but that's what my pulmunologist said about the spot in my left lung n it turned out to b cancer..!!" My surgeon says im very lycky that the cancer was found at its developing stage. I ask " how could i develope l,c if i dont smoke, never been exposed to 2hand smoke?? He said non smokers r not immuned to cancer... Now it's a waiting game.. I'm on vacation in Fl for 2 wks but the pain is still fresh as day one, my breadt feels numb, my back is in n out of cerculation my breathing isn't back to normal but the coughing has deminished a bit, can't walk to far w/o stopping to gasp for air ( there goes the shopping) n my sis has to keep turning off the AC b/c I'm constantly cold.. Have developed bad, bad, bad headaches n double vision... Go figure! One afternoon while getting ready for the pool I found a big lump on my right breast!!! Call my GYN ( a good frnd of mine) and as soon as i arrive back to NYC, she is sending me to c her frnd who's a breast surgeon to have him examined n run more test n remove the lump if needed (I'm hoping for a boob job 2.) Again, another waiting torture... That has been my story since surgery... Some of my frnds that have family member w/ cancer have said to me "u r taking this illness w/ such calmness, like u don't even think of the future, my mom ( or whom ever has cancer) has a different outcome for cancer..?" My response is. " I'm not taking this illness at all, I didn't ask for it n I sure didn't invite it to invade my body!!! So I'm not giving it a chance to survive... I can't apologize for me having a different reaction than ur mom, If I offend u w/ my reaction to it, then we shouldn't b frnds or maybe ur mom should hang w/ me...".
I might b acting wrong to my diagnosis, but I'm not being in denial, I'm just not giving it a chance to rule my life... For now that is, God is steering my life, not cancer....
Thanks u all n chat soon