Stage 4 colon cancer met. to the lungs.

I think this is just for venting purposes, to talk to people who have been in my shoes or are in them now.
I was diagnosed with colon cancer stage one when I was only 38 yrs old. Had all the necessary surgeries, but had no chemotherapy, this was in 2004, 2006 the doctors found two 1cm tumors in each of my lungs, a VATS was performed on both lungs and inluding my first doses of chemotherapy, 2009 another reaccurance in my right lung, afull Thoracotomy was performed including my second session of chemotherapy, 2010 new tumor found in left lung, full thoracotomy with chemotherapy, 2011 no found tumors but my CEA was sky rocketing out of control my new Oncologist had put me on a newer chemodrug (Iritican) for almost a full year. I've been having scans, PETS,blood work every three months since 2006. January 2012 a new tumor 1cm had been found near my heart a main artery, at this time I had a mmsize tumor in the upper right lung and similiar size in the lower left lung, after some talk with thought I should back into surgery and remove the larger tumor, no problem for me there, except the surgeon said he would have to take half of my left lung with it because of where it is at. My husband and I looked at eachother and said, " What about Cy ber Knife"? I ended up at George Town University for a consult in the matter this was the end of April, the results, and its the end of May?
I'm sorry ma'am we can't perform the procedure because we found a 3 cm tumor near the main tumor we were initailly going to remove, its to risky. We will have to look for other options and we will discuss them with your Oncologist and your surgeon.
I am so tired.