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Guess its true.. bad things happen in threes

sunlover_56's picture
sunlover_56
Posts: 110
Joined: Apr 2012

Just when I was finally getting rid of some of my anxiety, bam, its hitting me again. Not so much for my RCC dx but now my job.. Little history on the "3 bads in a row". Besides getting the dx of RCC at the end of March, I also lost everything to a flood in Sept of this year. I had to gut my whole downstairs and redo all of it. I NEVER want to go through that again. Got some help from FEMA but somethings I can never be replace. Then the Kidney cancer dx. I work weekends as a bartender but my primary job is in private hire home health. I care for an alzheimer patient 5 days a week (40 hours) While I was off recovering they hired a nurse and another caregiver to work in my absence, telling me right along my job was still there when I come back. Now I found out they have decided to keep all three of us and divide the 7 days between us. I will not be able to pay my bills on 2 days of work or even 3 for that matter. I am hoping I can get partial unemployment until I find another client, but that pit is back in my stomach again. I survived cancer (or at least I am hoping I have) so I need to try to just look at this as another bump in the road that I will get over too. My stress level is high sometimes I guess. I also have an austistic daughter whe lives in a group home but I get her 3 or 4 times a week and over night every sunday. (She just left)I love her to peices but she can tend to lead to more stress too. Typing to you all on here has helped me in so many ways.. Thanks for listening to me vent.

Limelife50's picture
Limelife50
Posts: 409
Joined: Nov 2011

Noy sure of your employers motive but i know when i had to take a leave for my second surgery my employer put up a job bid during the week i was having surgery so they could train another person to perform my job duties,i went out of my way to explain that i am not yet termanal only to hear the response ,maybe not Mike but you are sick,so i figured whatever screw them and have drcided to keep all of my medical issues persnal from here on out.Sometimes when you think you would recieve compassion from people you feel as thou you you are outcasted.In Illinois they do offer partial unemployment but i rember you have to make under a certain amount in order to qaulify,i hope things start to improve for you soon i think you have been tested enough already and try not to let people bring you down,your better than that

sunlover_56's picture
sunlover_56
Posts: 110
Joined: Apr 2012

I just got off the phone with the daughter of the woman I care for. Now she is telling me that when the doctors give me the ok to lift 150 pounds then call her. I couldnt lift 150 BEFORE the cancer for gawd sake. I dont know what is going on because before my surgery, they "seemed" to really like me and praised the work I did in caring for their mom.I will take your advice and try not to let people get me down. I have a counselor through the cancer dept of our hospital and she gave me a number for The Cancer Legal Resourse Center. It is based in California, but they do counseling over the phone too. They help people like us who need legal counsel and its free. If anyone eles needs it, I am posting the number: 1-866-843-2572. I will be calling tomorrow. I am also thinking if the doctor writes out that I can perform all the duties I was required to perform before the surgery, that should be enough. Thanks Mike :-) for listening

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

Being able to share this sort of experience, get support and pass on valuable information is another of the great merits of this sort of site. Keep us posted on your progress Judy. Alas, i can't offer any practical help, being in a very different jurisdiction. I can only say that this is the human situation the world over and it draws sufferers together to know that this kind of setback is something all victims have to face and seek to conquer and that a victory for one can help many others. So. we'll all be keen to see you win this one and to help you however we can.

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

Sunny,

While I'm sure that she feels she is acting in the best interest of her mom, what she has failed to realize is that your recent dealings with our health care system would only increase your empathy regarding her mom and thus make you an even better caregiver than before. Sometimes you wonder if the general public is o ignorant that they think we're contagious. Don't let one bad apple spoil your attitude, there are better days headed your way.

Hang in there,

Gary

littledarlin's picture
littledarlin
Posts: 102
Joined: Mar 2012

I am so sorry to hear about the tough breaks you are having lately..I can see where having your hours cut back is a huge hardship right now..Being a caregiver for someone with alzheimers can be a very hard job both physically and emotionally. I took care of my late husband here at home by myself for 5 years until he passed away..He had ptsd from the war and dementia. This was very hard and not something I could have done if I had, had this surgery at the time. I do not know your clients status or how demanding her care is at this point but if her care is really demanding maybe it is for the best that your hours have been shortened until your have fully recovered from your surgery..These type of jobs can really drain you....I sure hope you can get partial unemployment in the mean time or at least find another client to care for..Maybe one without alzheimers or some type of dementia related illness..

Prayers are coming your way..

little darlin.

alice124's picture
alice124
Posts: 860
Joined: Mar 2012

That 3 in a row does seem to happen a lot. Unfortunately for you, it's been negative recently. Here's hoping the next three in a row are very, very positive!!! Hang in there.

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

Judy, I hope you got some useful help from the Cancer Legal Resource Center and that your doc is able to back you up in saying that you are fully capable of continuing to help others. I'm hoping you've got good news and that Alice's wish of a compensating run of 3 good things now comes true.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1867
Joined: Oct 2011

.......Guess what.We still love you. Count on our support. Just another bump in the road as long as you keep going forward. Love you . Fox.

sunlover_56's picture
sunlover_56
Posts: 110
Joined: Apr 2012

Thank you so much Fox.(and everyone) Just made my day with your post. I love you all too and your support means the world to me. I feel like it was one lucky day for me the day I found this forum. I saw my urologist yesterday and he said "I bet you cant wait to get back to work" I explainded the situation to him and he wasnt very pleased. He said he would definately sign a paper for me saying I could, in fact, lift 150 pounds. I just love him for that. I took the paper to my employer. You could visable see they were shocked that I had the paper signed. She stumble a little on her words and then said she didnt know when or if I was going to return so she would need to discuss it with her family (she knew I intended to come back. I had called her a couple days before)She said they would try to work something out and for me to ring them back that evening. I tried many times only to get no answer from either of their cells.. This morning I decided just to go ahead and file for unemployment. Not going to wait around till they call me. I will keep you posted.. if this doesnt work then I shall call the legal resourse I mentioned.
One good thing is that the urologist ordered a cat scan for three months instead of the 6 months the oncologist ordered. He wants to keep an eye on my remaining kidney but I like the idea of being watched closer. Thank you all again for being so good to me. I live alone with my 2 German Shepherds but when I come on here, I dont feel so alone anymore :-)Love you too

alice124's picture
alice124
Posts: 860
Joined: Mar 2012

Sunlover - another animal lover in our mix! (I love German Shepherds, but--as I say that I realize--I love all dogs, cats, birds, etc.) Think I've decided that to be a member of this board--in addition to dealing with cancer--you need to be a golfer, a biker, an animal lover or two of the three. I'm a big animal lover and totally buy into the belief that animals are healing forces.

My husband told a story of a fox on the golf course right before he stopped playing golf. On our club's course, there's a lot of wooded area and lots of wild animals. One mutual friend that played with him is fearful of foxes even at a distance. Anyway, his friend took a shot that landed him right by the wooded area and out comes the fox. Our friend froze in his steps and the fox turned and looked at him and then trotted over to his ball and urinated on it. Our friend was horrified. John told him the fox was just reminding him whose territory it was. Prior to this incident, the fox had normally just carried the ball away. I think our friend would have preferred that in this incident.

sunlover_56's picture
sunlover_56
Posts: 110
Joined: Apr 2012

That story is so funny. Thanks for sharing it. Yes, I am an animal lover of all animals. My shepherds are so loyal and loving to me. I couldnt ask for better house mates. Trying to remember how the story goes..... Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for a while. Open it up and see which one is happiest to see you and still loves you unconditionally.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1867
Joined: Oct 2011

Need I say that in my home there are 5 dogs and a cat? Of course, that is my wife's hobby.

alice124's picture
alice124
Posts: 860
Joined: Mar 2012

So your wife has 5 dogs, a cat, and a fox -- quite a hobby! Bless her.

Judy - you'll be fine with your sheps by your side. They are so loyal; I feel better knowing they are with you. Hope the unemployment visit goes well and your job hunt afterwards is successful, with an even better job than before.

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