May 18, 2012 - 7:09 pm
My mom was diagnosed in April with GBM4. Since then, her memory and decision making has been extremely poor. She has a hard time performing simple tasks such as cooking, bathing, cleaning up after herself... she gets about half way through and forgets what she was doing. Naturally, I took over power of attorney so I could make decisions for her.
Not thinking it would be a problem, I let her keep her purse and all her credit cards and bank card... Big mistake! I had no idea she has been going online and randomly putting in her bank card info for "free trials". Because she didn't call and cancel these trials within a certain amount of time, these companies started charging her astronomical fees. The bank put a block on her account! My name is also on the account and I was NEVER contacted about this. We noticed when I tried to order a pizza for her, the bank card wouldn't work. I called the bank and they explained everything. They gave me the phone number to every company trying to pull money out and I called them all. NONE of them will waive the charges. She signed up for a bunch of "free trials" and never received anything from any of them and I tried to explain that. I even explained her situation, and let them know I was with her 24/7 and never received anything in her mail from any of these companies... I got absolutely nowhere. Now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. This isn't like my mom, she's always been a cautious spender...
I'm forced to take her credit cards, check books, and bank cards away and she's FURIOUS with me. I'm taking, yet, another piece of her independence. It breaks my heart, but I just can't keep up with what she's doing with her money when she's online.
She says I treat her like a child, but in my defense, I have to. I let her cook one day, just to see what would happen... sure enough, she walked away and left the food there cooking. Had I not been there, I'm sure it would have caught fire and burned her house down. She's so angry with me about this and I'm having a hard time coping with it.
She's even called several of her family members to "give" them stuff. She told her sister she could have her car!!! All her family is out of state, so I never talk to them. In the 28 years I've been alive, I've never met most of them... And they are so ready to take these things from her without question!!! How do I explain to her family that she may sound fine on the phone, but she's NOT okay? Nobody seems to understand what's going on even though I've attempted to explain the GBM4.
This is a freakin nightmare! This disease is absolutely devastating! I'm her only caregiver, and sometimes I wonder if I can really handle it. I don't know what to do. My mom is completely aware of what's going on, but unable to control it. She knows she makes poor decisions, and I know it's hard for her... but I'm having a hard time watching her cry and rage inside when I have to take things from her.
I guess I'm seeking advice, support... something, anything... Thanks for listening.