May 08, 2012 - 1:01 pm
My CT from last week was clean. However, 4 lymph nodes lit up on the petscan. 3 in the chest area, and one near the thyroid. The NP said that they are too small to biopsy which is the only way to be 100% sure of cancer.
She said she felt like the dr. would order a CT on chest area, as petscans show everything. She said it's not unusual to have false positives on petscans. I have had a bad feeling for a few weeks now that something would show up. :( Abdominal CT was completely clean. She said he may wait 3 weeks to scan it. I should hear something this afternoon.
I can't stop crying. I HATE being alone. I miss my husband so much. I really need him so much!! Both kids are grown and moved away. I never want them to feel guilty about moving on with their lives. Just when it looked like I was beginning to be able to move on a little from husband's 2010 death,and my diagnosis last summer.
I have been in remission for 9 months. The NP told me not to freak out just yet. That even if it is a recurrence that it has been caught very early. But I am SO scared! I don't feel as optimistic as I did last year when I was first diagnosed.