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I am a Christian "but"...... how do some of you do it??

chrissiebass
Posts: 60
Joined: Apr 2011

I am a firm believer in GOD, don't get me wrong and know we all have trials in life like in the book of Job, BUT how do you not get so angry with GOD and how can such a rightous GOD give people so much pain? Guess, I am in this depressing and anger state right now. Just like no one wants to see a child suffer, it is SO hard to see my dad sick. Tell me please, how do you keep such faith in your darkest hour, and why am I struggling with this when I shouldn't be.... GRRRRR

Fighting4Popi2
Posts: 25
Joined: Dec 2011

God bless...

dwhite0002
Posts: 130
Joined: Jan 2010

I understand what you mean. I am 37 years old, was diagnosed when I was 32. I have three young children. It is ok to get angry and cry out...you need to grieve. Just work through it....don't forsake your faith...it will be there when you need it.

Godspeed,

David
Hillsboro, OH

have2believe
Posts: 135
Joined: Dec 2010

There was an article last year in the New York Times about how a fighting spirit won't save your life in terms of diseases like cancer, that it's more about science and body chemistry that determines the outcome. In response, a pastor shared his thoughts and I thought I post it here (you can find the original article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/25/opinion/25sloan.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=a%20fighting%20spirit%20won%E2%80%99t%20save%20your%20life&st=cse)

To the Editor:

Richard P. Sloan’s rational and compassionate analysis of the scientific evidence is a boon to all who live with illness and feel that they are somehow to blame if they do not recover.

While it is true that optimism and positive thinking cannot overcome illness, it is also true that religious hope and trust in God do not ensure recovery. Belief in a loving God is a source of comfort and strength for millions of people when they are faced with illness. Yet just as “the rain falls on the just and the unjust,” so, too, illness comes to the believer and the unbeliever alike.

None of the great religions of the world promise protection from the vicissitudes of life. Instead, they teach us to care for one another when trouble strikes.

In my ministry I have counseled hundreds of people who are racked with guilt because they feel that their faith was not strong enough to bring healing. Pray for strength and healing, yes, but recognize that not everything that happens is God’s will. To borrow a phrase, linking health to personal faith is not only bad science, it’s also bad religion.

(Rev.) David W. Spollett
Fairfield, Conn., Jan. 26, 2011

chrissiebass
Posts: 60
Joined: Apr 2011

Thank you guys for your replies, I am glad I am not alone, I feel so guilty for feeling this way!! William, I know just what you mean about a 5 yr old comming through the door!! My daughter is 5, but I have 3 boys, 22,20,17. She is by far the most... cant think of the right word... energetic?? Enjoy your time with them, as we all on this board realize, time is precious. Looking forward to your response though....

chrissie
dad stage iv

Guigna
Posts: 71
Joined: Feb 2012

I am not a christian ( you could call me a recovered christian) but I am familiar with the book of Job and the story of this guy who had absolutely everything go wrong. After my husband was in the hospital for a 52 day stretch that started with a routine esophagectomy and ended up being 5 separate surgeries, etc, etc, I started feeling like I was Mrs Job.

Each time the surgeon/doctor said to us, "well, the odds are 7 out of 1000 that this could happen" (bad news) my husband would be one of those 7.
I got really tired of the statistics, because we always lost. Proved once again that it was a good thing that we were not gamblers.

Every one of us has to die. Your father is going out with EC. It is very sad and hard for all of us to watch our loved ones die. but die they will and so will we.

Try to find the goodness in each day. When he is down remind him what he has to be thankful for. YOU do the same for yourself. Hopefully that will help.

JReed's picture
JReed
Posts: 463
Joined: Nov 2011

Hi Chrissie!

We are also Christians in our home and have also felt, and will feel again, just like you are feeling.

I have found some comfort in remembering that God always has The Perfect Plan. It may not be our plan, but I do know and have faith that God always has THE Perfect Plan. There is a song that repeats a phrase "Some of God's greatest gifts are unaswered prayers". This I believe. I would like to think that if prayers do not seem to answered, it is because God knew the better answer.

I swear and cuss like a sailor, I'm a biker chick with tattoos, I'm a mom, I work at a great place, I have a great husband, I am a sinner, I ask God for forgiveness when I know I've done wrong, and yet I am a Christian in my beliefs. I don't know if any of this will help or comfort you, but please know that you are not alone - many of us, if not all of us, have felt just the same as you.

We will get through this - we have each other.
Sending you hugs and peace,
Judy

GerryS's picture
GerryS
Posts: 238
Joined: Aug 2010

When I was diagnosed I was in shock. When I collected my thoughts, I prayed for God to be with me in this trial. I spent a lot of time thanking God for the BLESSINGS in my life. My wife, children, grandchildren, my freedom, my opportunities, my community, my friends, my customers, ....... on and on. I think you get my message. God Bless....

Gerry

jgwright's picture
jgwright
Posts: 252
Joined: Oct 2011

Remember that Jesus said that Satan is "The god of this world (or system of things)." And it was due to Adam's sin that all are imperfect and fall short of the glory of God. Looking around at EVERYTHING, it's pretty obvious that Satan is ruling. What a mess. And due to our imperfection, crap like esophageal cancer can come our way. It isn't God's fault, but he can be a support if we let him. Y'know, that IS one of the reasons that God sent Jesus to Earth to be a redeemer and give us a chance.

A friend of mine said, "If death and resurrection was good enough for Jesus, I guess it ought to be good enough for me."

Still it hurts and it makes us angry. This system is a big mess, and we get to be part of it. Hurrah for us.

--Jerry

Laura23
Posts: 83
Joined: Jun 2011

Hi Chrissie,

I don’t know where you are in your walk with God, and I don’t think that my faith is any stronger than anybody else’s but I have learned a few things along the way.

Some things to remember about the God of the Bible:
Omnipotence has its limits and there are many things that God cannot do. He cannot go against His nature, He cannot lie. The world God made is good in its original design and that includes freedom of choice. That choice is what brought sin into the world. The effects of sin are visiting themselves randomly on creation; this includes cancer, earthquakes, tornados, and a million other things. God could prevent the effects of sin; but normally He allows broken creation to go on as it is. God promises to be there for us, all we need to do is turn to Him.

It’s important for us as Christians to remember that God allows challenging circumstances in our lives for a reason. Our job is to trust Him and learn what He wants to do in and through us. One purpose of a difficult circumstance is that God wants us to be aware of our utter dependence on Him. Far from abandoning us when we go through difficult times, God moves towards us. Never forget this: if God allows your life to become hard, His motivation is always love. He loves you. The goal of all your pain is your restoration to a deeper sense of His love. But keep in mind that this is biblical love – a love that is willing to take you through a valley to get you to the hilltop.

When we talk about the blessings and benefits of being followers of Christ, we often focus on a misplaced confidence that nothing bad, hard, or hurtful will happen to us. Hard things definitely happen to faithful people. The superiority of a life lived in Christ isn’t superior because it’s pain-free or easy; it’s superior because it approaches the hard parts of life with joy and hope. Our hope must be based on Christ’s presence in our lives rather than on our current circumstances. Difficult circumstances teach us how to rely on God and how to persevere in faith. Pain requires that we respond, not based on the feeling of the moment but on continuing reliance on God through prayer.

Some scripture that is helpful:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Romans 8:28
Hebrews 12:5-11
James 1:2-8
1 Peter 4:1-19
Job 23:10

Remember that David poured out his heart to God through the Psalms. Jeremiah was considered the crying prophet when he saw his people being taken captive and poured out his anguish in Lamentations. Paul had a thorn and boasted in his weakness. For me, going through this beast with my husband brought me closer to God than I had ever been before. My time in the Word is deeper and more meaningful than before. And my prayer life is stronger and more focused. He definitely used this experience to refine me. If you have any questions, or you just want to talk, please feel free to PM me. You are not alone, although I know that sometimes it feels that way.

Laura
wife to Luis
Diagnosed 4/11 T3N1M0
MIE 8/30/11

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1560
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi Chrissie
I agree with all the others and their posts. We too are Christians. I want you to remember that GOD did not create Cancer. GOD did not create the pain and suffering it causes. It is the other guy....you know....SATAN who does this dirty work. GOD is there to help and comfort us. Come to me all that trevail and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you. Believe in GOD. Keep your faith.
Tina in Va

ozchrissy's picture
ozchrissy
Posts: 22
Joined: Mar 2012

I have had a serious heart condition for 13 years, and I have been very close to death on two occasions with this. On each occasion, I wasn't consciously aware of how sick I was, but I had an overwhelming feeling of peace. I also was surrounded by my family, on the first occasion my dead mother and on the second, my brother, in spirit. Now I know this sounds fanciful, and to some people that I am a nutter, but believe me the feelings were very real. I also belong to a heart support group where survivors of Sudden Cardiac Arrest have shared their experiences, and they report a very similar experience.

I am not a Christian nor do I adhere to any other organized religion or am involved in spiritualism. These are purely personal experiences. I am confident that if I die, I will continue on in some form, and it will be peaceful. I often reminisce about this 'peaceful' feeling and long for it to return. It was so profound.

So whether the afterlife is that of the Christian Belief or some other belief, I am positive that it is there, that there is life after death and that it is one of peace. I live a good life, and love and care for those around me. I suppose you could call me a humanist, that has experienced a profound spiritual revelation, but it did not have anything to do with any organized religion. I cope on a daily basis with whatever is placed before me with confidence, and as for the pain, cure or death, that is where I put my trust in the medical profession. I know that if I do die, I will be at peace, and death holds no fears for me at all.

mardigras's picture
mardigras
Posts: 196
Joined: Sep 2011

In our darkest moments, which one of us hasn't screamed at the skies.
In this room, I doubt there is anyone.
Loving God isn't just accepting our lot in life and being ok with it.
We all want to fight this terrible disease and whatever gets you through
it, is ok.
Don't feel guilty or ungracious, this disease would try the patience of
a saint.
God loves you, and he understands.
Prayers, love and hugs,
Marci x

mabailey48
Posts: 6
Joined: May 2012

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chrissiebass
Posts: 60
Joined: Apr 2011

Thanks to all of your responses, I am printing them off to go back to read. I have not lost my faith, just seemed to have taken a wrong turn and I am now going back to get on the right path!! I really am at a loss of words by how much love and support I feel from so many on here, maybe you guys are GOD'S way of telling me he IS listening, and sent each of us here for eachother thru him.

Hope you have a good Wednesday...

chrissie
dad stage iv

Court_Ren
Posts: 28
Joined: Feb 2012

I tell you what. I am a christian as well, but it is ok to be pissed. If you hold all of that in it is just destructive. My husband's health is failing. He was diagnosed almost a year ago Stage 4. They say " God only gives you what you can handle" You will find yourself thinking " Yeah right, why why is he letting this happen" I can only tell you what I see in my own life. It has made my family stronger, and even though it sucks watching your loved one suffer, just know that someday they won't be suffering anymore, cause he had bigger plans for them. I am not sure why they have to go through what they do, but that is one thing you will never have an answer for. So be angry, get it out, and then toughen up. Dry your tears and help your loved one fight like hell. I will be praying for you hun. I am only 29 years old and have a beautiful 7 year old girl who is going to loose her daddy, and it pisses me off everyday. But I am strong, and I have turned into Super Woman cause I have had to. God is there even thought you may not feel like it I promise he is. God bless, and if you ever want to talk you can PM me.

Guigna
Posts: 71
Joined: Feb 2012

Some of us can handle it, some of us can't. People lose it all the time. Some people never heal from their wounds.

sandy1943's picture
sandy1943
Posts: 883
Joined: Jun 2010

God loves us and wants us to lean on Him, He gives us more than we can handle alone, so that we will realize we need him.
In my darkest hours, when I think I can't stand anymore, I find myself calling out for his help more. The Lord has always come through for me and given me overwhelming peace.
It's not always instant, but even then, I know He's holding my hand.
When I was diagnosed, my life was great. God had blessed my husband and I so much. Home paid for, jobs, good health ,as well as our chidren and granchildren's good health. We have a wonderful church and church family. We were very content.
Then the news-stage three EC.Unbeleavable shock. You all know what I'm talking about. This was two weeks before thanksgiving. Treatment started the day after christmas. This was the best season I've ever had. I experienced it in a way I never had. The Lord was so much more to me. As each day passed I drew closer and closer to Him. I have a relationship with Him now that I never had before. He is my best friend.
I have a lot of down time. Life isn't always easy. We have a lot of trials,but I have learned to trust Him, cry with Him and just cuddle with Him, The Lord will always be with me even through my worst times. I keep all His promises close to my heart. He said he'd never leave me and he hasn't,
so sorry so long, but whan I think about what the Lord has brought me through I can't shut up. We all will pass on, but I know at that time, He'll still be holding my hand.

Sandra

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5742
Joined: Apr 2009

We all blame God for whatever reason there is, but remember it was because of Sin that all this came upon mankind. I had my NPC cancer come back 3 times but I am still alive, I can’t swallow now and I live on a feeding tube. But I got to see my grandchildren born, I can go out and work in my shop, I can do a lot of things. Maybe I am not as good as I once was but someday when my Savior comes back I will have a new body that will never be sick. As Christians we sometime go through a lot of trials here on this Earth, I like to think of it as being in prison with Paul, I love the part where there was a Earthquake and the Prison walls were open. There is nothing that can happen to me that my Lord, Savior, and friend Jesus does not know.

I pray my brother be strong and have Faith.
Elder Tim Hondo

ms.sunshine
Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

And I told Him. I knew that the one I was mad at was also the only one with the answers and the only one that could get me thru.

People ask if I believe in God, no, I KNOW there's a God. My time spent with Him I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I fully trust God with my life.

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