Apr 30, 2012 - 12:16 am
I'm 22 years old and on May 5th of 2011 I lost the most amazing person and woman I have ever known. My mommy. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, my dad left which left my sister and I to take care of her with the help of my grandparents. I was her main caregiver throughout my teens and in 2007 on my 18th birthday she was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. She lived longer than her predicted 2 years but they didn't go by easily.
In may of 2011 9 days before my college graduation.... She was gone. It was just me and her at the house and she was supposed to have chemo that day but I couldn't get her up. I called and told the oncologist and they said they would call to check on her later. She was up every few hours after that but completely delirious. That was the norm with her sometimes at the beginning of each month when she had her pain medicines replenished. So I thought nothing of it. But her doctor then called and told me to at least take her to the hospital for fluids because she can't been eating or drinking.
My brother and I got her to the hospital where we waited for what seemed like hours.. The doctors informed me she was having seizures and her brain was showing no signs of activity.. She was in a coma.. They asked me for her power of attorney... 15 hours later my mom... My mommy my best friend was gone.
Its going to be a year in the 5th and it seems like my life is falling apart. Since my mom died I've lOst all my family because no one gets along with our her... She was the glue and her being sick was all any of us really knew... So now that she's gone it's horrible.
I miss my mom so much and sometimes I just want to be with her so bad that I feel like I'll do just about anything to see her again. I use to dream about her and I don't any more it's like she's angry with me for all of the non sense with my family whom I miss dearly and have tried reaching out to....
I just want my mom back I just don't knOw how to keep going on with out her.
I don't mean to ramble.. But I don't know where else to say how I feel. I could tell my mom everything and now I have no one to talk to. I just need someone to just listen to me. Or anything. I know there hasto be someone out there who knows how this feels...
Thank you even if you just read this...