Apr 26, 2012 - 6:40 pm
I sent an email to my gyn/onc/surgeon today. At my checkup in November I expressed alarm that my count had gone from 3 to 5 and he said anything under 10 was okay. He further stated that even if it went into double digits he would not be too concerned. I wanted to know his thoughts behind that statement since my count is now 23.
He answered my email within 30 minutes which is an indication of the type of person he is. He stated that he agreed with my onc's decision to have another CA 125 in two months (actually 2 months from the last one on 4/10). He said the slight elevation may be nothing or it may be an early sign of recurrence but that treating an early sign of recurrence (CA 125) may be detrimental to me in the long run. He said that treating without any clear sign of recurrence or symptoms tends to lead to problems with chemo in the future and impacting my quality of life now and in the future.
He said that I know I am not in control of what this cancer will do but that he and I and my onc do have some control over managing it. He said that in two months the CA 125 may come down or if I do need chemo it is better to wait for clear evidence of a recurrence or preferably some symptom.
He told me to take care and try not to worry although he realizes how hard that is.
I am starting to calm down now and am trying not to put the cart before the horse or holler before I’m hurt or get ahead of myself. It is hard but I was starting to act like I am already sick, crying, staying in bed, not getting dressed. I had to remind myself I am not feeling sick and won't know if there is a problem for another 7 weeks. I can't waste this precious time feeling sorry for myself and upsetting everyone around me.
Thank you all for your support and love. You are my anchor. Without you I am sure I would lose my mind. I can totally be myself and say what I need to say because I know you understand. I can't always do that with the people around me and have to remind myself that it is difficult for them as well.