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SHATTERED!!!!!

AimeeK1967
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2012

Hello I am new here but i have been watching the boards for awhile now, i switched from reading Hopeful stories to this so i guess this was the worst Outcome.. My Mom Passed 3/18/12 from Lung Cancer with Mets to the Brain, she was Diagnosed 3 weeks Before she passed ( even though her Death Certificate Says 5 months) she thought she was having a Stroke on Feb 24,2012, so she went to the Hospital she not only ended up with stage 4 lung cancer with mets to the brain but had bell's Palsy, and drop foot.. She was told at That time she had a GOOD Year if she had radiation and Chemo. Well she had 10 rounds of Radical Radiation, and Died a week later. I am Angry, Hurt, SHATTERED!!! My mom was only 65 just Turned 65 she wanted to work till she could collect her FULL Retirement, now she won't get to enjoy any of it.. I am Angry at The Doctors That Lied to MY face told me she had a good year, 3 weeks later i am making Funeral Arrangements?? She thought she had that year to make her own funeral arrangements, draw up a will, ect.. I walk around so Empty and just cry at the smallest things i feel like i will never get it togeather.. She was MY Rock, and even though i am married with my own Children/Grand children i don't think you are ever prepared for your mom to die.. The worst part is My Grandmother is still with us and to have to tell your Nana that her only child has Died (Nana Has Alzheimer's) was one of the worst Parts.. Or to have your mother Tell you she is scared to die... It has been a BAD 6 months for me as My Best Friend of 30+ years Passed 6 months ago, and my Husbands Aunt ( who we were very Close to) Died 4 months ago and My mom helped me through both of these, but now i have lost MY Rock, there are days i don't even want to get out of bed but i force myself, i find myself shopping out of my hometown because i can't handle the "Im Sorry" or " I know how you Feel" Please Tell me that it gets Easier.. I am sorry to Dump here but i feel like nobody in my family knows what i am going through... i am Just So SHATTERED!!!!!

Noellesmom
Posts: 1317
Joined: Aug 2010

and one I can answer. First, let me say I am sorry for the loss of your mother, as well as the others you mentioned in your post.

Yes, Aimee, it does get easier. It takes time but it does get easier. Different, but easier.

Like you, I lived a lot of life in a short amount of time - within two days, my brother passed away and my husband was diagnosed with cancer. My mom passed away about a year later. Your losses have been compacted into a short amount of time. You haven't had time to completely process any of them.

Grieving is very individualized but I believe at the very least we need someone to listen to us while we grieve. I'm hoping you have those who love you and will be there for you.

Grief support groups are excellent resources; perhaps you also have a pastor who can help.

Be kind to yourself, Aimee, and those around you.

I know you have anger: I would, too, given the circumstances and what the doctors said. Cancer is an unpredictable beast.

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