Apr 13, 2012 - 10:04 pm
I lost my husband & best friend almost a month ago. We did everything together and were happiest when it was just the two of us. It was a soul-mate, true to the heart love that I am so blessed to have been able to experience.
That sweet man went through so much pain and suffering for 18 months that I found myself praying at times that God would just take him so that his pain would end . Now that "it" has happened and he isn't here anymore, I am just lost. I feel guilty for asking God to take him, I regret we didn't have more time together, and I just miss him so much that it physically hurts.
I quit my job to be his full time care-giver throughout the ordeal & he never spent one night in the hospital alone. We were together 24-7 and now that he is gone, I feel like the person I was died in a way, also. I hope that makes sense...what I mean is that I think, in order to survive in this new world without him, I can't be that same person I was before.
I almost feel like I need to move away, change my life totally, etc. Is this normal??? Things I loved before, I could care less about now. I'm even thinking of some kind of career change. I hope I am not losing my mind, because when I mention moving or any of this to my family they look at me like I am crazy. :/