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2nd round of Chemo

light42day
Posts: 61
Joined: Mar 2012

I finished my 2nd round of Taxol/Carbo on Monday. Today I just feel really crummy.It hit me on the 3rd day after my 1st treatment, too,and I guess that's pretty typical. It's hard to describe how you feel to someone who's never had Chemo so when I say I just feel bad, they have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm not throwing up so I must not be too bad, right? I wonder if you ever just get used to feeling this way. I'm not sure how the ladies who have it every week or for long periods of time can get through it. I know we do it because we have no choice but it's still hard. I pray a lot but at times it's even hard to do that. I was supposed to go on a business trip out of town with my husband today but when I woke up this morning I told him that I just felt too bad to go. So I'm sitting here alone and kind of feeling sorry for myself I guess. The weather has been really nice and sunny but today it's grey and rainy so that doesn't help either. I was told that it's ok to vent and share your feelings on here so that's what I'm doing today.

Sometimes it seems like my life will never be the same after all this. I wonder if I'll ever be normal or like myself again. I'm sure that some of you have felt that way, too.

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 424
Joined: Apr 2011

Life does go back to normal again or at least real close to it. Back in April 2011, I was found to have stage 3 carcinoma sarcoma (mmmt) uterine cancer. I had the surgery in April and started chemo in May. I went back to work in June but would take off chemo day (Mon) work the next 2 days, take off Thurs and Fri and sometimes Mon & Tue. Then I would be feeling ok till the next go around. I had 6 rounds of Carbo/Taxal every 21 days. No radiation. On Sunday April 8, 2012 I celebrated 1 year of NED from the surgery. Aug will be 1 year NED from chemo. It does get better and your body does get back to normal again or close to it. I was never sick either, just had aching pains in joints, muscles like you get when you have the flu but only in my lower back and legs. This usually happened on day 4 and would last for 6 days. I would put heating pads on my legs and rub icy hot on my legs to get some relief. The worst part was when the taste buds changed and nothing tasted the way it should. . It also depends on your attitude on the whole thing of cancer, life and even why me God! Yes this site is good for venting and sharing your feelings. Mainly because we understand what you are feeling having been there done that. I will keep you in my prayers. You will have good days and bad days, may your good days outnumber the bad. trish

light42day
Posts: 61
Joined: Mar 2012

Congratualtions for your one year NED! I guess I have that to look forward to! Thanks for your prayers, too.

pakb56
Posts: 141
Joined: Jan 2012

I have had 3 rounds of taxo/carbo and each time was almost identical to the last. I thought the third may have been a little worse but I think that was more me growing weary of the process. I will be starting 5 weeks of external radiation followed by 1 week internal before going back to chemo.

I read a post or something recently that said "I have cancer...it does not have me". I try to forge ahead and do what I have to do when I have to do it.

Wishing you the best....Pat

light42day
Posts: 61
Joined: Mar 2012

How do you keep doing this? You're facing 6 weeks of radiation and then back to chemo. You must be a very strong person, as are all of the other ladies who are going through this. I feel very weak compared to the rest of you.

bonniep's picture
bonniep
Posts: 36
Joined: Jun 2010

light42day, I wrote you a book of what I've been going through but when I hit 'post', my book never showed up. That is so frustrating to me and it's happened one other time. So I'll just be brief and say, like you, I am on day 3 after chemo and feel awful. I will be my worst on Saturday, my granddaughter's birthday, so my husband will be at her party to represnet 'us'. The party's at a big ranch with lots of walking, horses, sun and kids. In the beginning, I made myself go to things, but found out that's not a good idea - everyone is always checking on you and paying attention to you when they need to be doing other things. They're torn - they love you and don't want to leave you alone because you feel bad.(exactly what you want - just to be left alone). You can't explain how you feel - my favorite word is "Yucky".
I'm in my 2nd time around of getting chemo, since my USPC has recurred. But, I can truly say, the year I was NED, I felt better than I've felt in years. So all that chemo stuff does eventually go away and you feel like a human being again. Try not to get to deep into negative thoughts and feelings, but if you do, it's normal and it's OK. Just don't hang around there too long. There are many wonderful women on this board and people you come across who will inspire and incourage you and in doing so, are encouraged when you thank them. You never know when you will be the light42day in someone else's world! Hugs to you!

light42day
Posts: 61
Joined: Mar 2012

Bonnie, I wish I could have read what you wrote that didn't post. I love reading whatever the ladies here share. Yucky really is a good word for how we feel after Chemo. My doctor and nurse said I'd just be really tired and lose my hair. There's a lot more to it than that! They would have no idea unless they had it themselves. I'm sorry you have to miss your grandaughter's party-sounds like it will be really neat! My grandaugter's 2nd birthday is the same day as my 3rd treatment (but I think they're planning on waitin til the next week to have her party).I try not to be negative but sometimes it's hard. I'm just so grateful that this board is here with women like you who are willing to share and encourage others!

pakb56
Posts: 141
Joined: Jan 2012

Do not think of yourself as weak. This is a miserable place that we are in and we all have to deal with it on our own way. Me, I am stubborn. I have to have these treatments, I have to work. I have to endure. I deal with it one moment at a time.

Don't sell yourself short. You will get throught this!

Pat

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 759
Joined: Sep 2011

To me, cancer is like grief, you go through different stages and some stages you zip through and some you linger in forever. I am learning that, like grief, you can never put cancer behind you, but you can not let it be in front of you. Rather, let it walk beside you, ever-mindful it's there, but not letting it take over your life. Some times you can't take it a day at a time, some times you take it one second at a time. Best Debrajo

light42day
Posts: 61
Joined: Mar 2012

I lost about 70% of my hair after the first round and I had the rest shaved off. It's actually grown back a little since then (about 1/4 inch or so). It isn't falling out anymore. So I wondered if it will fall out the rest of the way before round 3? But if it quits falling out, how will to grow back? Anyone have any experince like this?

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 424
Joined: Apr 2011

Mine fell out on day 19 and I shaved it then. Yes it did grow back but it was mainly the gray that grew. I did not like to patchwork little hairs on my head so I kept it shaved throughout the chemo treatment. But that is just me. The hair would continue to grow but not all over and I did not like the look. It was just easier for me to keep it shaved. I did not wear scarves or hats nor did I buy a wig. I went back to work bald and went out in public bald. It has been about six months and it did come back in different than it was. Before chemo straight as a board after chemo it is growing in with a curl. I could not stand it anymore and just had it cut this past weekend about a half an inch all over. This should last me through summer then I will get it cut again before winter. It is all what you want to do with your head and how you deal with it. Good Luck, trish

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