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St. Paddy's day

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1901
Joined: Oct 2011

Paddy, Sean and Seamus were staggering their way home from a night of tossing back a few Guiness.Anyway, they stumble upon a few old stone markers on the side of the road. Paddy says," Aye,this here fellow lived to the ripe old age of 88. His name is O'grady". Sean States, " And this fellow was 91, O'Toole he was called." Seamus announces, " this one says 145!..it's Miles from Dublin".

What was the name of the Irishman who spent the whole winter out on the back porch?

Paddy O' Furniture!!

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

Thanks for the laugh foxhd. PS - I have been looking for a thread on drinking - I know I saw one earlier, but I can't find it now. Here is my story - I will come clean today. I used to 'unwind' on Friday night after work. That was all. Then, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer in May 2010, I started drinking more often. I know it was just to make it all go away - but it became night after night. Hers was stage 4 and mets everywhere - she had had it for a long time. Then came my diagnosis,firt discovered on a ct scan Sept. 23, 2011.Finally biopsied on Dec. 30 and positive for papillary cancer. I thought I would slow up on the drinking, at at times I have nothing for a week, but then I start in again and get drunk every night. It is two weeks before my operation. I know I am supposed to stop all meds and drinking before, so I guess I feel I need support from all of you. I know I can live without it, but it has become a habit that when the stress is high, I aleviate it the fastest way I know how - drinking. There weather here is wonderful lately and I have been going for long walks, and I mowed the yard yesterday. Just looking for support and anyone with similar feelings - like loss of control and the need to make it all go away.

livealive's picture
livealive
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2012

I a m not sure I understood that right, but one way or other, drinking wil kill. Either by a vehicle, or liver damage, or maybe the cancer. There are known benefits for red wine some say, but when you expose someone who "knows" they can live without drinking, and yet can't it speaks of an illusion of the human mind, and for such individuals the risk of that 1 to 2 glasses of wine outweigh the benefits they might other derive were they controlled, so, stop cold turkey or try, failure is there to give you another opportuniy at trying. The way I would offer my 2 cents, or less, take it a moment at a time, I am not going to do it NOW, maybe later, we are all dealing with later issues and what if's anyway, so later we will see later, so when by habit or otherwise you ach for the bottle, the ice,the glass, become aware of what you are doing, what is causing it, awareness of the feeling will help, and stay in not now. Forgive me if I misunderstood your email, and offered useless, meaningless, or even a stupid suggestion,
Raj.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

I guess I am hoping that by publicly saying I have a problem, I will open this up so that the illusion is no longer an illusion. I hope I can begin to heal whatever is bugging me.Your words were helpful Raj. Thanks.

MikeK703's picture
MikeK703
Posts: 235
Joined: Sep 2010

Raj,
Good advice here, I think. And I believe you answered your own question to Iceman in another posting -- how do you not worry? As you said here, you stop cold turkey or you try to, and also, become aware of what you are doing, what's causing it, etc... Makes sense to me for stopping a booze problem as well as a worry problem.
Regards,
Mike

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

j_rod, is your fiance aware of your problem and is he able to give you support for it? If he thinks it is understandable he would be right but he must also help you to beat it and additional help may be necessary for you both at this time.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

I might tell you more later. He does know - he lives with me. Without telling you the whole story, let's suffice it to say that he is an alcoholic - and he has never not drank in the 5 years I've known him. My choice to drink is made easier because he is a drinker as well. I will say that I know I am not to drink prior to the surgery so I am 'on the wagon' right now. I am thinking that this tumor might be a blessing - it might be the start of good things.

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

j_rod, it could be indeed, and I can't tell you how much I hope that it will be for both of you.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1901
Joined: Oct 2011

Hardly the right person to address this situation. But, it seems to me that to break any bad habit, one needs to replace it with another. So don't drink. Smoke pot.....ONLY KIDDING!!!! Don't do that!!! Seriously, Correct me if I am wrong, but alternative behaviors need to be available when the urge to indulge is present. Smokers chew gum or suck on candy. I don't know the answer for replacing alcohol. Something acceptable needs to be available. Hobbies?, exercise? green tea? I'm sure others have far more experience professionally or personally to offer more sane advice. Primary MD's. are a good start. Good luck getting this under control.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

....and don't think it hasn't crossed my mind - you know, just for medicinal purposes:) But I made it through today without any alcohol. I know I can do it. It's just easier to drink than to not drink. I actually prefer the way I feel without drinking. I sleep better too. I found the online AA version of meetings today and registered. It is good that it is there...it does help to know they are there. I think it will be a better outlet for that particular issue as I would like to keep this site for my kidney issue. Two weeks and I will have it out - and it will be over ...for a while.

livealive's picture
livealive
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2012

Hey JR, if you ever want to talk, send me your #, I can call you, and maybe any help.
I need to finish tax stuff, so you made a start, so well begun is half done. Failure gives you opportunity to try again, but we'll see how it goes.
Pat on the back ;-)

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

thanks for the support. I found the online AA and it is very helpful. Today is day two and I am not drinking. It will be two more weeks until my surgery.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

thanks for the support. I found the online AA and it is very helpful. Today is day two and I am not drinking. It will be two more weeks until my surgery.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

thanks for the support. I found the online AA and it is very helpful. Today is day two and I am not drinking. It will be two more weeks until my surgery.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1901
Joined: Oct 2011

Now, we'll take care of your stuttering!

MikeK703's picture
MikeK703
Posts: 235
Joined: Sep 2010

Fox,
"Now we'll take care of your stuttering!" Now THAT made me laugh! Thanks.
Mike

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

day 2 went well, too. I will never get the hang of this touch pad thing.

livealive's picture
livealive
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2012

So something's working JR, we will tolerate the stuttering if you keep this going.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1901
Joined: Oct 2011

Good Job J rod! Keep it up!!
Fly, Fox loves ya!

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

k

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

Going well. I had a great day at school until the class trouble maker started his nonsense and his gang followed him at 10 minutes before the bell...So then he could up and leave.So if I go by percentage ... let's see...OK ... I'm not a math teacher. but 99.3055555% was good.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

Going well. I had a great day at school until the class trouble maker started his nonsense and his gang followed him at 10 minutes before the bell...So then he could up and leave.So if I go by percentage ... let's see...OK ... I'm not a math teacher. but 99.3055555% was good.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

Going well. I had a great day at school until the class trouble maker started his nonsense and his gang followed him at 10 minutes before the bell...So then he could up and leave.So if I go by percentage ... let's see...OK ... I'm not a math teacher. but 99.3055555% of my day was good.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

i only touched it once! Today is day 4...time to put on my Wonder Woman cape.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1901
Joined: Oct 2011

now, about this stuttering thing........

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

j_rod you're going great guns - keep it up and good luck to you both. I hope your excellent example will help pull your fiance along too.

livealive's picture
livealive
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2012

It's not stuttering, it's tremors :-) Or out of mind phenomena the other times after the first.....

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

...we have a comedian online! THIS made me laugh! Had a great day - track meet after school, be-a-u-ti-ful weather!

livealive's picture
livealive
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2012

Well, something made them stop, maybe that you laughed ? We are watching, there are no milestones, no 3 days without, no week without, no months, not years...the only goal for you JR, is not NOW.
Raj :-)

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

j_rod, we're both getting close to surgery. I've just cooked myself a meal and was about to open a bottle of wine which I thought to stretch over the next 4 nights before my op. Then I thought of you and hoped you're still going well. I've decided to skip alcohol from now until Friday. Then I'll doubtless be unable to take any for about a month, if my last op (in December) is anything to go by - I was on morphine for a month and it doesn't mix with booze. Although these days I drink wine with my evening meal every night of the week, I was gratified to find I didn't miss it too much last time round. Raj gave wise advice when he said the focus doesn't have to be on the long term - it's always just necessary to think: not NOW.

I hope things are shaping up well for you and I will be thinking of you as you approach your op. Good luck with it.

livealive's picture
livealive
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2012

Tex - I can't say good or bad, but you did it because somewhere you know "something is wrong with drinking", and the same reason "JR' wants to stop ?

I have found this rather peculiar, why do people intoxicate themselves to feel relaxed ? Believe me, I have several stresses, I had 8 hour heated arguments between yesterday and today, am severely stressed myself, and I know my health situation is not the best, and I know, alcohol will not solve the problems.

But, guys, I don't understand, how you'll being intelligent people, who know so much more than me about health and diets, are agreeable to drinking alcohol which has proven detrimental effects of the human body - foremost being inhibition of the central nervous system.

It might be my ignorance about the positive effects of red wine. I fully expect wise-cracks, and then I will call you a wise-ass :-)

R

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

thanks for the best wishes. I will be following your progress closely as you are going ahead of me.I guess the doctor's paperwork which he sent in the mail cuts people off of a lot of medications and alcohol recommended as a no-no as well. I do enjoy wine - and when my life is calmer I don't imbibe but for a couple of nights per week. The last two years with my mother getting cancer kind-of kicked the whole drinking thing into high gear. Your information has been extremely helpful to me. Thank you and good luck to you on Friday.

j_rod
Posts: 125
Joined: Mar 2012

Sometimes it starts out with good intentions - one glass of wine with dinner, maybe two. Then something goes haywire in some people. Why some and not others? I don't know. Is it learned? Is it biological - how we are 'wired'? Who knows? All I know is that my own tendency is that once I start, I keep going. So I guess the saying, "One is too many, and twelve is not enough" applies to me. But maybe not tex. Or my sister, for example. She can have one or two and be social...and then stop. I have read a lot on the topic, but bottom line....some people can handle it as a complement to their evening, and some (me) cannot. And I think it is in the best interest of my kidney to stop. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Thanks for the support.

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

JR,

Very well said! You clearly understand your situation and have a positive attitude about it going forward. Knowledge and attitude will serve you well as you battle both alcoholism and RCC in the coming weeks and months, I have no doubt that you will slay both dragons.

Stay strong,

Gary

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