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forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1158
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi All

I thought it was time to say hello. Still hanging in, but it is a struggle. The past four weeks have been so very hard.

Most days I have all sorts of paperwork to keep me and my mind occupied. But at night when all is quiet, that is the really hard time.

All my health issues are still on hold. I just cannot bring myself to call and set the next appointments. I guess that I just need some time before starting any new challenges.

I try to read the posts most evenings. I keep you all close in my heart.

I miss all of you and I really miss my Mom....

Peaceful healing
Lisha

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

Hey Lisha,

I know I haven't been on here much either, but I do try to read the posts. I don't know what all is going on in your life and health, but I do know how much you miss your mom. I lost my mom when I was 15 and I still miss her every day all 32 years.

Just know I am sending you good thoughts!

Take care,
Beth

JoanieP's picture
JoanieP
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

Hi
Losing your Mom is the hardest. I loved my Dad so much but losing my Mom was the worst. It has been 14 years and I still miss her . This might sound strange but when I really missed her after she died I held my other hand . It felt like hers. Now my hand looks like hers did. Lisha , your Mom would want you to take care of yourself. I know it is hard to think of anything else but you have many people who love you and want to to take care of your health. Love and prayers Joanie

anliperez915's picture
anliperez915
Posts: 742
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi Lisha, It's nice to hear from you! I know its hard Lisha like most people know here a mother's love can't be replaced by anyone else. I love my kids but its a different love! I also miss my mom and its gonna be 3 yrs. from her passing and I still cry when I think of her, or when I hear a song that will remind me of her. I don't think its ever easier but you learn to live without them! Also it will take time to be interested in doing things (that includes your health), but like Joanie said your family wants you to be here for them as well! Please take care of yourself, sending you a (((HUGE HUG)))!

Sincerely,
Liz

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3155
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Lisha,
So glad to hear from you...(was thinking about you earlier)before seeing your post. As long as you are feeling ok,I think waiting to start up new challenges might be ok for now. You've had your share of hard times the last couple of years, so taking some time to reflect, grieve and heal will do you good. Just don't go too long...you know? I still miss my mom everyday...in songs I hear, passing her picture in the spare bedroom, all of it makes me think about her. Moms are truely special and are forever missed when they leave us. Hang in there sweet lady and please don't ignore any warning signs in your health...your family and friends want you around for a long, long time....I know I do! Love you...Sue
(FNHL-2-3A-6/10)

onlytoday's picture
onlytoday
Posts: 585
Joined: Jun 2010

Lisha,

Good to hear from you. I do agree with what others have said about losing your Mom. It is so hard. I lost my mom when I was 22 and I still have moments when I just need her! Certain songs, questions that come up- so many things remind me of her. There is nothing like a Mom's love-but I do believe they are still with us. I know for sure that my Mom is with me and wants me to take care. I also am sure she cried right along with me when I got my diagnosis. And I am confident that your Mom is with you and wants you to be happy too.

So...hopefully you will feel like setting those appointments soon. I am so sorry you are going through this. Sometimes life can be so hard.

Love you,
Donna

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 1984
Joined: Aug 2011

Hey Lisha,

Great to hear from you! I haven't posted much recently
myself. March 21 will make three months since I lost my sister
and I still can't believe it.

I am at her house a lot either visiting/having dinner with Philip
(husband) or taking care of their dogs on occasion. Sometimes I expect
her to come downstairs and tell Philip "Boogie, I'm going to bed..."
as she often did when he and I'd plop in the recliners in the den
watching TV after a meal.

Particularly since the cancer, we talked everyday on the phone even if
it was just a quick call before she left for work. I've found myself
picking up the phone a couple of times starting to call her.

I can relate to the night time and the quiet and dark. That's when it's
tough for me. I'm so glad daylight savings has started. That one extra hour
of daylight makes a difference to me.

Hugs and prayers my friend,

Jim

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

I left the site awhile ago now but now and then, like you, I come in and just read posts. I miss many of the people on here but life goes on and people drop in and out over time. Glad to hear that you are keeping busy though, takes one's mind off of things that are difficult - if only just for a little while. Even if it is just paperwork.

I write this at 5am, can't sleep yet again, and so totally understand where you are coming from when you speak of the nights being difficult. Wish the mind would just shutdown a little in the 'worrying department'. lol.

What also prompted me to write at this time is when you were talking about how you couldn't bring yourself to call and set up the next appointments. I can sooooooooooo relate as I am sure so many can on here. You just want to take time to try to be 'normal' for a few days and not have one doctor's appointment. Of course that can't last long unfortunately with many of us but still the stalling is so familiar to me, especially right now.

I too lost my Mom about 9 years ago and like others here I miss her everyday. We spoke on the phone from different parts of the world everyday my whole adult life. The phone never seemed so quiet as the day she passed away. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers Lisha during those hard nights and when you are struggling with missing your Mom. So many good supportive people on this site, as you well know, will get you through.

Anywho I had better try to get more rest. Hello to everyone who answered your post here Lisha, miss you all and hope your struggles aren't weighing you down too much.

Hugs to all,

Bluerose

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2418
Joined: May 2010

Lisha,
Great to hear from you. I am starting to get like Bluerose and not posting as much anymore. I do read the posts everyday and when something comes up for me to reply about I will.I had my 3rd R treatment last Thursday and everything went well. Just tired that night and still a little the next day,but doing fine now. Be talking to you on the board and try to stay as strong as possible. John

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1030
Joined: Nov 2006

Hi, Lisha, it's got to be so hard, but don't forget to look after yourself, you know as well as I do that these things can't wait. It was good to hear from you, try to stay strong..... Vinny

hilde451's picture
hilde451
Posts: 223
Joined: Oct 2009

Just read your post. I surely understand how much you miss your Mom. I miss my Mom very much. I lost her on March 2, 2010. And it still feel like yesterday. I was with her every day. Hope you are going to make your appointment.
My prayers are with you for sure. I am so exhausted every day and it is towards evening.
I wish ou the best. Hilde

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