Mar 15, 2012 - 7:48 am
I feel so helpless its almost like I'm looking at it from the outside. My husband seemed to be doing well which we were very grateful for, especially since my son has been dealing with another serious illness. Knowing he was feeling well I was able to concentrate a little more on getting my son well. Now my son is finally on the road to full recovery and my husband is acting weird. The doctors had to stop the "platnum" part of the chemo he was getting and now he has needed pain pills again (so far only once a day) and he doesn't seem to remember simple things that he used to know like the back of his hand. Its minor things but still has me wondering. I say I want to call the doctor and he says no lets wait till my next treatment next week. I know that it has started to spread to his lung, its a very small spot but its there. This damm disease already has his stomach and his bones now his lungs and maybe.... When does god feel he has inflicted enough pain on someone??? It hurts so much to see him sick and I can only cry when I am alone because I do not want my kids to see. I am trying to make things as normal as possible for everyone and trying to make occasions even more special since they may be the last one but it is taking its toll on me. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the "front".