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Behreavement Center

connsteele
Posts: 232
Joined: May 2011

I had mentioned in another post that I was going to visit The Behreavement Center, in our town, a service offered by our county Hospice. I was happy to learn that David doesn't have to qualify for Hospice Services in order for us to go there.
I'm so glad my husband and I went. In searching for a counselor to talk to, to help us sort through feelings and the issues we are dealing with, I had wanted to connect with a therapist with experience dealing with cancer patients and their caretakers. Our county American Cancer Society rep recommended such a person, but turns out her schedule is full and she wanted me to see one of her associates. But I just didn't feel good about that.
So, I called our county Hospice to see if they could recommend a therapist and she said I could see one of their counselors in their Behreavment Center.
So, my husband and I went on Thursday, and it was so helpful. Turns out the counselor is a chaplain with Hospice and so has had lots of experience dealing with families like ours. And she is especially empathetic as it turns out, she lost her 21 year old son, 10 years ago, to non-hodgkins lymphoma. So she his especially understanding.
She is open to meeting with us on a regular basis if we want, and also with David, if he wants to. And at no charge! Of course, she has lots of connections in the community and is working on getting David hooked up with services and volunteers who might be able to help with his social isolation.
I won't go on about our meeting, but just wanted to pass this on to others, who may have a similar service in their community. If so, I highly recommend using it. We don't have family in this area, and have found that many of our friends seem to be distancing themselves. Probably because they just don't know what to say. We need to forgive them for that too.

cindysuetoyou's picture
cindysuetoyou
Posts: 508
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi, Connsteele.

I am so glad to hear that your meeting was productive and helpful. I'm also glad that your counselor was experienced and empathetic too. And how wonderful it would be if she could connect your son with some opportunities to be social! He must be so lonely....I think my David might be lonely too but he's feeling too miserable to care. He's had a bunch of friends who have tried to see him but he has asked them not to visit because he feels so lousy. :(

I think that I will never be the same after all that I have experienced with David. I hope to someday reach out to other people who are battling brain cancer....I would like to do something to help people like your son not to be lonely. I don't know exactly how to go about helping in that manner, but I bet I can find a way. Just be a friend....

I am with David in his apartment, just sitting here, being available if he needs me, and watching him to make sure he's not having any major bruising or signs of bleeding or trouble from a clot breaking away and going to his lung. It's not safe for him to be alone. He's in pain again, so he's taking a lot of pain medicines and sleeping a lot. He just took a shower and he needed help stepping in and out of the tub. It totally wore him out, like he ran a marathon or something.

It's not going too well with David giving himself the blood thinner shots...it's hard for him to push the plunger all the way down. He is so weak and shaky! I am going to start giving the shots to him. I have a major issue with needles--I HATE them--but I am going to get over it.

I called our NO and talked to my favorite doctor and asked him if they see very many blood clots in their patients. He said that they do. He also said that having brain cancer can set you up for being more likely to get blood clots. I asked if he thought that they could get on top of this and if he thought that David would be okay, and he said yes. He sounded confident and positive and I feel better.

They still plan on doing the BBBD when David recovers from the cellulitis---approx. 10 days. That's when he will be done with the antibiotics anyway. But he doesn't seem to be feeling better so I don't know if he is healing all that fast.

One day at a time, one day at a time...

Love and blessings,
Cindy

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