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In loving memory of my gold hearted momma who passed on Dec 14, 2011

teenadee
Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

I miss her so deeply my insides ache. I was with her when she took her last breathe and I wiped away her last tear. I had told her she would be ok everytime my momma asked me. A lie to comfort her. My mom suffered immensely from stage 4 thyroid cancer that metastasized to her bones then lungs. I feel completely numb inside and wonder how I'm functioning. I want to see her in my dreams for her to tell me she is truly in paradise. My poor dad lost his soulmate. Slept at the hospital until her final breathe. People say remember the good times but my head pictures the worst times. I don't feel at peace with her death how can I ? She meant the world to me. I'm 41 and I feel like a little girl crying for her mommy. Is there another word than sad because I am beyond that.

I miss you momma I love you. I miss your smile, your hugs, your calls. I miss everything about you. I tried my best to make you better by harassing and begging the doctors. You left to find peace from it all please tell me you are ok .

Tina

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

HI,
Just want you to know how sorry I am to hear about your moms passing. Moms are our best friends & it's hard to go on without them. Mine died in 1989 and I miss her so much still. You were there for your mom and I'm sure she appreciated that. I know this is a horrible time for you right now and I was one who said "remember the happy times". That's what people told me when my husband passed away almost 2 years ago. But when I remember those happy times it makes me sad cause I wanted more time with him. Things do get easier, but are never the same. Hang in there & remember we're all here for you when you want to talk.
"Carole"

teenadee
Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

I am sorry for your loss of your mom and for the loss of your husband. You wrote it exactly how I feel, if I try to remember the good times, I feel even worse. I have my moments when I'm ok and in a split second, I get that heavy heart feeling again. I can't believe that it's almost a month, it truly feels like yesterday. Tomorrow I will visit her at the cemetary and put something for valentine's day. How she loved the different celebrations - she was such a wonderful mother, just perfect to me. She would drive me crazy many times but what I would give for more time with her. thank you again.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi,
When you mention how your mom loved celebrations, I remember how my mom loved everything too. Someone once said that our parents are like the spokes of a wheel & when they die, the wheel stops turning. Our lives change and there's nothing we can do about it. I look up at the stars on a clear night & pretend they are windows & hope my mom, dad & my beloved husband are looking down at me & saying " you'll be alright".
Today we just had our first snow storm. Only got about 5 inches, but the crap was heavy & wet! My driveway is 70 feet long and I had to shovel twice! That's when I miss my hubby. Have a snowblower but didn't feel like using it. Stupid huh?
We would've been married 48 years on Feb. 8th and knew each other since 1st grade. My mom loved him so much!
Life goes on and we just have to adjust to changes. You're going to get that heavy heart feeling many times. Hey, if you feel like crying, cry. It hurts to try and be strong & no one knows until they go through this what it's like. Stay strong!! "Carole"

hilde451's picture
hilde451
Posts: 223
Joined: Oct 2009

Hi Tina,

Dont feel bad about you missing your Mom this much. I am 66 and lost my mom two years ago from colon cancer while I was going through chemo for FNHL , I was with her when she died.
I had seen my mom ever day of my life. SO yes I miss her so terribly.
So it does not matter how old we are. We still miss them.
Prayers go out to you. Love and Hugs, Hilde

teenadee
Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

sorry it's taken me a while to respond. Thank you dearly and god bless u

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