Jan 09, 2012 - 9:17 pm
Hi all. I'm very lost. Looking for some help. Was diagnosed stage 1 at age 32 in July (just over a month after miscarrying my first child), BRCA pos. Had a double mastectomy, a second renstr. surgery, was fired from my job due to my need for extended leave. Am midway through ACT chemo. My husband of 2 and a half years just told me this thursday that he's not sure if he wants to be married anymore. He has a history of depression and has been having trouble lately. We both see counselors. He said what prompted him telling me was that we needed to make a decision about going on Tamoxifen or not after chemo since we were going to try to conceive first. He said he doesn't know if he wants a child now, and he had to speak up before I made that decision. he said he should go to a counselot, but that he's not sure if our marriage can be saved. Nonetheless, he tells me this on what was supposed to be my due date. He has been decent through treatment, I wouldnt say he's been great. This all came out of the blue, we had been talking about trying again for a baby before my dx, and we bought a house together (closed 2 weeks before my surgery). he waits until now to tell me this?? I honestly think he just doesn't want to deal with me anymore because of the cancer and he's too ashamed to say it. We had some communication issues prior, but nothing major and nothing he ever said he was going to walk away over. I'm so hurt that he would abandon me when I need him most. I am willing to hear what the counselor says tomorrow night, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive or trust him anyways after this huge betrayl. If we didn't have a mortgage hanging over our heads I probably wouldve moved out already. Not to mention, my health insurance is through his job. I am now having to look for work on top of all of this. I'm absolutely crushed. Any support from anyone who's been there is appreciated.