Just wondering how you are doing. I have been busy with the holidays and may have missed a post from you. I hope all is going well.
I have been wondering about Tina, hope you are ok xxxx
Tina posted on facebook that she had been on a cruise and since back had her bloods taken and they are fine for her to have her last chemo. I will send her a message to say that she has been missed.
Yes you are Tina, I have been getting more and more worried about you and it seems you have been on your jollys!! Seriously though, I really was thrilled when Jenny updated us, soooooooooo glad you have been on holiday, I hope you had a fab time and hope to hear all about it very soon, hope your last chemo goes well X
Sorry I have been off the radar. Sometimes I find it tough thinking about cancer and tend to switch off the "cancer switch" for a while and pretend I am not ill. Thats why I have not been on the boards. I have missed you all and I promise to keep popping in from time to time :)
Yes I have been on a cruise. But it was shadowed by the fact that when I got home I still had my final chemo. It was originally planned to take place after my chemo finished. However as we all know nothing goes to plan with cancer and 2 of my treatments had to be delayed because of my white cells. I loved my cruise - it was only 5 days and it was pure relaxation.
So I have just finished my final week of Topotecan. It was a very tough week. I began having anxiety attacks that resulted in me being sick in the chemo clinc. The lovely nurses thought I was reacting to the chemo - but in truth I think my anxiety caused it. I think I was just having "ONE OF THOSE DOWN MOMENTS" (I am lucky as I don't have them usually) With Topotecan you go everyday for a week. It only lasts an hour but it really got to me this last time. I would wake up in the morning and dread it. This is very unlike me and that thought made my anxiety worse.
Anyway, I have now finished this particular round of chemo. My onc wants to see me in 6 weeks. My CA125 are not very low - 485, but it is certainly lower than it was - 1,727. My onc was not worried as I am feeling so well and not showing any symptoms of anything.
It is strange how these numbers work. Some ladies have very very low numbers yet they have symptoms and other have high numbers and feel well. I guess it all proves that we are all individual and unique. But I know one thing for sure ............ I have regained my optimism and consider myself priviledged to be alive. I have 2 fantastic children, a gorgeous grandson, a loving father, a fantastic sister and niece and nephew AND several amazing friends. I AM TRUELY BLESSED and I don't think I would ever have appreciated those things quite so much had I not had cancer.
Thank you for your concerns and it is nice to know I have friends on here that I have never met. Sometimes cancer does good.
So glad you had a relaxing holiday Tina and nice to hear from you, keep well, good that you are off the chemo now X
Hi Tina: Glad you got away on a wonderful cruise. We need these breaks. Good to have you back.
And glad you are feeling well.
What I like mainly about holidays is that you can pretend that the csncer has gone away just for that period of time.
Welcome back Tina, and take any number of breaks that you need at any time :)
I'd second, third and fourth that. It's lovely you had a fab time... x
So glad you got to go away and forget about it all for a while. I too like to pretend that I dont have it. It sure beats worrying about it all the time. I am glad your chemo is done and you get a break.
We are so glad that you are living well and do go and enjoy your family and friends and forget about all this medical stuff for a while longer.
I see that you speak of having had a specific number of sessions with Topotecan. I wonder why Topotecan has a specific number of cycles. I had my first session with Topotecan this Wednesday just gone. Unlike you, I am to have it for only one day per week, over 3 weeks, then one week's break before having it for one week over the next three weeks. One week off ... and so on. On the intruductory paper given to me, I'm to stay on the Topotecan for a total of six cycles. Then what?
The fact that you attribute your anxiety attacks to the Topotecan is of concern to me because I already have problems with anxiety.
Thank you Tina,
I think my anxiety attacks co-incided with my chemo sessions. It certainly WAS NOT topotecan but the fact I am having CHEMO. Plus I am on anti-depressants and I decided (Rather stupid as it turned out) to reduce my dose. Before Christmas I began to reduce my tablets and did it over a period of 6 weeks - slowly. However when I arrived at the chemo clinic and was reminded (once again) that I actually have cancer and need to have chemo - that is when I had my anxiety attack.
This happens to me everytime I go into the chemo clinic by the way. I manage to push the fact that I have cancer to the back of my mind on a daily basis. This is how I cope as I don't think about it much and I live day to day without thinking about it. But as soon as I get to the chemo clinic and get hooked up I have a mild anxiety attack as the realisation hits home that I actually do have cancer. On the last occasion I was feeling anxious before I even got into the building. So I worked myself up. Another point I need to make is that I have also been wearing a cold cap to prevent hair loss. This is not the most pleasantist of experiences and I have come to hate it. So that was something else I was anxious about.
Regarding Topotecan - it is a very easy chemo to take. I had very little side effects. Maybe slight nausea. It didn't make food taste horrible - only wine!!!!! I don't know why there are different ways of giving Topotecan? Maybe its down to the individual consultant.
Take care Tina xxx
Hi Tina, just had to say that I love your new pic, I assume it is a recent one, you look really great X
Thanks Stella it was taken a few weeks ago.
Even though i am not the cancer patient, i know what u mean about turnng the "cancer switch" off. You just have to. today i thought, wow, i need to come on here and check in. Everyone was there for me and my mom when she was very sick, and i need to stay on board. You look marvelous by the way. Great pic!
Pretty picture...nice to see smiling faces on here!! Gives us all a smile! My hubby hasn't lost his hair yet...having THE surgery end of March. But he has quite a hat collection, so if he does lose his hair, he says he's ready as he can be. Bu