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Grandma refusing Dr. Appts.

nicmarie75
Posts: 54
Joined: Apr 2010
Dec 29, 2011 - 5:59 pm

My grandmother had Lung Cancer in 04 and is in remission I believe is the term. But now she has another health issue. She has been DX with Severe Pulmonary Hypertension. Dr. says it will lead to heart failure (she is 76) and though there is a density in her lungs (they believe it is scarring or infection) that the new PH DX will take her life before any chance of her cancer recurring. My grandma is done fighting, she misses my mom, her oldest daughter (died in 99 at 42 from Kidney Cancer) she misses my grandpa who died from cancer in 95 and she does not want to live anymore nor be poked and prodded any longer. She feels she will go to her normal BP checkups, Eye and hearing appts. but does not want to do anything other than her inhalers and Oxygen to treat her PH. I don't know what to do. Other than normal forgetfulness due to age and steroids, she is still of good mental status. I am her POA over her health and want to make her go to her appts. but my sister says I need to abide by her wishes. I don't know what to do
Ex_Rock_n_Roller's picture
Ex_Rock_n_Roller
Posts: 251
 Joined: Mar 2011
Dec 29, 2011 - 7:24 pm
I don't think you have much of an option

Depressing though it may be, I think you're pretty much legally and morally bound to abide by her wishes, assuming she's of sound mind as you say. I think she will need all your support in whatever decision she takes, including if that entails mainly keeping her comfortable for the rest of her life.

All the best to you and grandma.
PBJ Austin
Posts: 346
 Joined: Mar 2009
Jan 02, 2012 - 2:21 pm
You are in a difficult situation

My husband and I were in a similar situation with my late father-in-law, as my husband was in charge of his care. At one point my 80-year-old FIL was through with this world and he was ready to go and join his wife in Heaven. It was really hard but we decided that quality of life is better than quantity. We abided by his wishes and did not force him to undergo painful and aggressive testing for a mysterious illness that popped up. A day or so later he started saying he could see his late wife and in another day or two they wer